


Avengers: Love and Lightning

by Lothirielswan



Series: The Collector's Cosmic Romance Saga [2]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Loki is a cat, Multi, Romance, Wakanda (Marvel), World Travel, tiny!Avengers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:38:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22914559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lothirielswan/pseuds/Lothirielswan
Summary: “Thor has such a manly smell,” Scott gushed on my shoulder, breaking the silence. “Like, woah, it's just so overpowering. It's like a perfect combination of sea breeze, cedar, and mermaid tears.”Thor smiled from overhearing the sort-of compliment. “Thank you, mouse-man.”All is fair in love and Thor! After tricked into a betrothal by a princess from another realm, Evangeline Green must find the Eternal Flame to win back her freedom, and save the nine realms. But those aren't the only sparks flying. Things are heating up between Evangeline and the seductive God of Thunder, but will his treacherous ex-girlfriend, Enchantress, and a group of feuding Avengers tear apart this unspoken romance?
Relationships: Thor (Marvel)/Original Character(s), Thor (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Thor/Reader
Series: The Collector's Cosmic Romance Saga [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647007
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Love and Aviation American Gin

~E V A N G E L I N E G R E E N, L O C A L S U P E R M A R K E T, 2 0 1 7~

“Vision, what's next on the list?” 

“Blueberries, sir—boss—tiny man with lots of money,” Vision stuttered as we walked on the aisle. Tony Stark, famous billionaire and world-saver, sat in the shopping cart that I pushed, munching on an open box of pocky. 

“Tiny Man better not squish my M&Ms,” Rhodey muttered. Every now and then, Rhodey would reach out and steady himself against the edge of the cart. The metal casts that encased his legs were bulky, and I couldn't imagine how irritating they were. I noticed Vision wince every time Rhodey stopped to gather himself. 

I sighed. My family had gone through a divorce recently (and you can imagine how crappy that was, given Director Nick Fury was practically the priest that united the match). The Avengers had separated, leaving all parties in broken pieces. All of the people I cared about in my incredibly tiny yet fulfilling social circle were in pain. How was someone like me, an introvert with zero superpowers, supposed to fix that? 

“Oh! Can we pick up some cucumbers?” Shuri asked. Her voice was light and had a hint of an accent to it. She wore bright colors and had a chipper air to her. Sometimes, I swore she was a character from an anime brought to life. 

“No,” T’Challa said sternly. 

Our group took up the entire aisle, and as we slowly inched towards the end, I daydreamed about the book I had stashed under my bed in the Compound. But I forced myself out of my comfort zone, more than a regular amount: I felt like they needed me. And I honestly cared too much to forsake any of the Avengers right now. 

“Ms. Angie, can I have some cucumbers please?” Shuri turned to me with a polite smile on her face.

I blinked. “You’re the princess of an entire continent. I'm pretty sure I have no say here.” 

“Sure you do, Ms. Angie,” Peter Parker, another random kid that Tony adopted off the street, raced up to our party. He stuffed a bunch of doughnuts in our cart. Tony nodded his approval, “ ‘Atta boy. Now go steal the bananas by the ‘kids get free snacks’ sign.”

“Don't listen to him, Peter. Tony can go by himself,” I said. “And what do you mean, I have a say?”

Peter shrugged. “Well, you’re an adult, right? You’re old enough to drink, that's pretty old.” 

I stopped pushing the cart abruptly and gaped at Tiny Man 2.0. “Wait, hold on a minute, did you just call me _ old_?”

“You read books all the time,” Shuri replied.

“You always prefer your free time in solitude,” Vision interjected. 

“And you look…” Peter trailed off as he studied my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tony making cutting motions with his hands. 

“You look, uh,” Peter swallowed. “You look really young. I mean, you dated Thor and he's like a thousand years old. You're practically dating the elderly.”

“Woah, that is not cool, man,” Rhodey shook his head.

“We need to work on how you talk to women,” Tony told Parker. Then he turned in the cart to glance at me, and cowered behind a jar of Nutella. In the background, T’Challa started hitting his head on a box of cereal.

I sucked in a breath as I processed all of this information. “Okay, a few points to be made here: I am a young woman in the prime of my life.”

“Who radiates youth and beauty,” T’Challa offered. 

I continued, trying not to blush, “Right...er, thanks. Number two: I never dated Thor. If I wanted to date the elderly, I’d call up Bucky in Wakanda. Last thing,” 

I stared down Vision, Peter, Shuri, and Tony. “if _ I _ am the _ adult_, that means _ you _ are the _ child_.”

I continued down the aisle, tugging Tony along in the cart. “Rhodey, pick up some Minute Maid juice boxes for the kids.”

“But I like Juicy Juice more…” Parker whined.

“Tough!” I turned around the corner, and crashed carts with someone. I winced at the sound. Tony squirmed in the metal basket, “Hey—oh, they visited the liquor section.”

Tony reached out to steal the pack of beer and yelped when three long blades came before his hand.

“I’m so sorry! Hi, Logan,” I said, facing most of the staff of the X-Men. Professor Charles Xavier was sitting in the cart, giving Tony a disapproving look. Erik Lensherr pushed the cart without even touching the handle, who offered an unfriendly sneer to Vision. Hank McCoy was nearby, studying the shopping list. Sometimes he glanced up at me and quickly looked back down at the slip of paper.

“Our deepest apologies, Ms. Green,” Charles wore a friendly smile when he met my gaze. “Do excuse us. Mister Wade Wilson has been draining our supply of snacks for the students, so we’re here to pick up more biscuits.”

“That's british for crackers,” Hank McCoy translated. 

“They don't need to know our life story, bub,” Logan grunted.

“Right. We must be off,” Charles waved as his cart started moving by itself. “Good day to you, Avengers.” 

Erik sneered at Vision as they passed. “Next time you touch my daughter, remember: I can control metal.” 

The group marched off to raise havoc in the bakery department.

“The other side of the pond is crazy,” Rhodey remarked, watching them go. 

Tony held up a beer in victory, “Ugh, why is this warm? We’re getting some Aviation American Gin.”

I started pushing Tony again. Both him and the doughnuts had some weight to them. “No alcohol around kids.”

“But mom!”

Our group kept walking. My mind wandered back to what Peter mentioned: he thought Thor and I were dating. We were intimate—I mean, we were close, not in a romantic way, but...he always came up to me first when he returned to Earth. Thor sent me exotic flowers from Asgard sometimes, when he was away—he called me his “earthen goddess” on the tag, and it always made me feel all warm and tingly. 

Thor and I had struck up a system while he was away, too: to make sure he was alive, we sent letters through Heimdall for each other. I felt bad bothering the poor Watcher of the Nine Realms, but at least I knew Thor was okay. He was off doing space stuff, and I did my earth stuff: I just...I missed him sometimes. 

Only when fiery sparks filled the air did I return to reality (only Thor could make me forget what planet I was on). Doctor Stephen Strange appeared before us.

“Hey,” I was the first to recognize him. I probably knew him better than everyone else; my health history wasn't...pristine. 

Tony stuck his tongue out at him like a five year-old. “What, you got tired of your blue telephone box?”

Peter and Shuri gasped. “Can I be your companion?”

“I asked first! I got dibs! Ha!”

“No fair! You didn't even get your Hogwarts letter!”

Stephen smirked, and despite Tony, leaned on the front of the cart, holding my gaze. “Hello. Food shopping with the family?”

“And pursuing other condiments, including feminine hygiene products and alcoholic beverages,” Vision added. 

I plastered a smile on my face. “Just an ordinary day living among superheroes. Very boring.”

Shuri nodded vigorously. “It's true! All Ms. Angie does is sit on the couch and play video games and cry over made-up people. There is nothing interesting going on in her life.” 

I gripped the handle to the cart tightly, silently vowing never to have children. Stephen’s cheekbones were sharp and taut like they were held up by internal wiring. He had a regalness to him. I was one of the few around that he actually joked with, “I disagree. I think there are plenty of interesting things about you.”

I made a face at him, wondering if this was a hint to a new health crisis—or even worse—an attempt to flirt with me. Suddenly T’Challa was right next to me. “What is your motive in this visit, Strange? Perhaps you have run out of money, and cannot afford basic necessities.” 

I groaned at the two of them. “Please play nice. I think I’ve finally reached the temptation to buy Aviation American Gin. Tony, direct me.” 

“Yay!” Tony pointed Logan’s stolen beer bottle towards the end of the aisle. I followed my soon to-be tipsy compass.

Stephen still lingered in our group. I glanced over at him, “If there’s anything you’d like…”

“I wouldn't want to impose,” He said.

“Angeline, I think you are too kind to the misfortunate,” T’Challa mused. 

“Guys, please. I get enough bickering as it is: I'm surrounded by four kids,” I motioned again across our group. “Let’s just be nice, and enjoy Tony’s black card.” 

We reached the end of the aisle and a curse flew from my mouth. I crashed carts with someone else. 

“I'm so sorry—” I trailed off when I looked up at the person.

“Intruders!” Scott Lang raised his nerf gun from his seat in the shopping cart. “Make way, people! It's the White Jets to our Latino Sharks!”

Steve Rogers sighed. “Scott, you have to stop watching musicals with Cassie.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hi Awesome Adventurers! Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Wade Wilson: Wow, Author. You went from DC to Disney Channel in .2 seconds. 
> 
> Scott Lang: Actually, I kinda like it. Thor's like my favorite Disney princess ever—Cassie dressed up as him for Halloween. They kept giving us pop-tarts at every house. 
> 
> Author: We have tons of fun stuff planned and I'm so excited! While this story does take place in 2017, it takes place in between "Captain America: Civil War" and "Thor: Ragnarok" (no, I am not going to reiterate/rewrite any movie scenes here, you're safe!), the next book will take place in present time. I promise we'll have more soon! Until next time, love, fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers!!


	2. Love and Styrofoam

Tony used Nutella as a shield when Scott aimed his nerf gun at him. “Kid! Go get another nerf gun! And visit the steak knife collection!”

“No knives! We’re not barbarians, or Loki!” I snapped at them. I looked back up. It was the rest of the Avengers: Natasha holding a jar of Goober’s peanut butter and jelly, Sam with a sack of bird seed, Wanda with a bunch of boxed-up herbal tea, Clint with boxed-up coffee (apparently the addiction hadn't ended), Steve pushing the cart, and Scott with his nerf gun. 

I couldn't stand it. I abandoned my spot at the cart and went up to Nat. She embraced me with open arms, and even on the run, she smelled like peppermint and vanilla. 

I looked over at Wanda, offering her an arm. My heart swelled when she skipped to my side and joined in. Despite Wanda’s new renegade lifestyle, she still looked cute in a miniskirt and gray bandana. 

“Evie, help us. Steve won't let us buy real food, it's all diet, styrofoam junk,” Wanda pouted.

Sam held up a tub of vanilla ice cream as I went to him next. “Look at this, Eve. It literally says styrofoam on it. I miss your cooking.” 

Sam squeezed me tight and was careful not to let the ice cream touch me. As I continued my greetings along the line, Tony groaned, “Angie! No associating with the enemy!” 

I stepped back from Steve, and stood between the two groups. “This is ridiculous, guys. Can't we find some kind of compromise or middle ground here?” 

Everyone but Stephen, Shuri, and Parker shot me glares. 

I sighed, and looked over at Steve. “I've been working on the press and taming our favorite pariah, Secretary Ross.”

Steve shook his head in awe. “We can't repay you for that—”

“Uh, yeah you can,” I crossed my arms, “by sucking it up and trying to make amends. Both of you.” 

Tony placed a hand on his chest, offended. “What do I have to apologize for?” 

“For being a pain in the ass,” I said.

“So just Tony being Tony,” Scott concluded. 

“Peter, knives!”

“Peter, no!”

“Peter, yes!”

“TONY, NO.”

“Fine.” I was pretty sure that the only reason Tony backed down was because I cooked his meals, and Pepper and I were related. I turned back to Cap’s team of renegades. “You’re coming home with us.”

Steve’s mouth opened to protest, when Wanda, a gift from the gods, whined, “_Please_! I miss my guitar. And my shower. And my room. And my boyfriend.” 

Somewhere in the store, Erik Lensherr’s voice shouted out. “I WILL MAKE VISION BLIND...WHERE IS MY SON?”

Our group was silent for a minute. Most of them were confused. Wanda was extremely annoyed. 

Steve sighed in defeat. “It doesn't do the world any good if we’re divided…”

“And I don't do diet-anything,” Clint remarked.

I nodded. “To Barton’s minivan!”

~A V E N G E R S C O M P O U N D~

I wandered around the front of the lawn, staring up at the sky. “Heimdall!” 

Avengers Compound stretched on for miles. Some areas were wide green slopes of freshly-cut grass. Off in the distance were untame woods, where Clint worked on hiking trails and hunting trips. Most of the grass was brown and some trees barren from the chill of February. 

I walked a little farther, my rain boots crunching softly against the dead grass. “Heimdall!” 

Again, I searched the sky for any signs of blinding light. There was only the sun. Despite the blinding orb high in the sky, it was still freezing. 

I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets. The tip of my nose was burning up. “Heimdall!” 

My lungs were starting to burn from the cold air. It was probably stupid, and selfish: the Avengers were together, inside, for the first time in months. I should’ve probably been standing over them, but I needed time alone to recoup. And then I started missing _ him_. 

“Heimdall—!” I felt gravity push down on me harder than usual. Then the blinding light trickled in on all sides, like I was walking across the surface of the sun. 

And I was gone. 

The bifrost was like being in the center of a twister, going so fast it was literally pulling me across light years. At the same time, there was a lightness to it. The feeling of endless movement, the lightshow and the stars that blurred into lines around me. 

I stumbled onto the golden floor, and frowned at the face I saw. “You’re not Heimdall.” 

It was a man with dark bulky armor and tattoos stamped across his bald head. He had thick eyebrows that seemed to give him a permanently grim expression.

“And you’re not Asgardian,” The stranger concluded, pulling Heimdall’s sword from the center of the bifrost. The golden ceiling above us rotated until it presumed its original breathtaking pattern. How did Asgard come across this much gold?

My fingers went to my neck, and I dug through the top of my layers until I found a necklace with a rune on it. “Thor Odinson gave me this.”

The stranger came close and studied the gem with the rune encrusted on it. It glowed a pale yellow in the dark, like the moon; I liked to think of Thor as the sun when he returned. 

The Asgardian’s eyes widened. He dropped to his knees and offered me his sword. “Forgive me, my lady. It was wrong of me to question the betrothed to a royal family member.”

I choked on air. “_Betrothed_?”

The man looked up, confused by the weird sound that escaped my lips. “I am Skurge, m’lady—my princess, please forgive me for my rudeness.” 

I forgot how much more polite Asgardians were to normal people. It was an awkward yet delighted feeling. I gestured with my hands, “No, no. It's okay...you don't have to stay on your knees, that looks uncomfortable.”

I offered Skurge a hand, and he leant me Heimdall’s sword as he straightened. I studied the weapon that was nearly the length of me, and started to ponder where its owner was. “Skurge, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, my princess. Ask away,” Skurge replied. 

“Where’s Heimdall?” I asked.

Skurge took a short pause, one that I didn't take as a good sign. My fingers tightened around the sword. Heimdall was patient, and just as polite as every other Asgardian. He wasn't just my loophole to Thor, either—he was an intelligent man who knew bucket-loads about the cosmos. I had fond memories of him here as he shared the secrets of the universe with me. 

“The Allfather charged him with negligence of duty, but he disappeared before the trial,” Skurge said. 

“That's terrible.” I pressed my lips together. Thor idolized Odin a lot—I didn't particularly care for him. It sounded like a crappy thing that Odin would do, and I believed it. 

“If I may ask, m’lady…” Skurge looked me up and down. “What realm do you hail from?” 

“Um, Texas—? Midgard, it's a place on midgard,” I explained.

Skurge’s eyes widened. “Tex-_a_s? It sounds intriguing, my princess.”

“Yeah, the whiskey’s great there. Anyways, have you heard from Thor?” 

“Haven't seen his highness for years.” Skurge’s answer made the blood in my veins turn to ice. The bifrost suddenly felt colder than February back at the Compound. 

I knew Thor had visited Heimdall, but obviously the rest of Asgard had no inkling of that knowledge. Skurge didn't have a clue. But he was nice. 

“Thank you, Skurge,” I almost held my hand out to shake, but then I remembered renaissance fair customs, and grabbed the hem of my black trench coat as I attempted to curtsy. “It was nice to meet you.” 

“And you, m’lady,” He bowed low to me. “I take it you would like to return to midgard?” 

“Yes...wait.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scott Lang: Hey Clint, we need to talk about your minivan.
> 
> Clint Barton: You mean "The Quiver"?
> 
> Scott: You seriously named your van that? Man, that is awesome. That minivan has some swag...BUT IT'S NOTHING NEXT TO THE EL DORADO 
> 
> Clint: EL DORADO COULDN'T MAKE IT ONE TRIP 'ROUND THE BLOCK, PAL. THE QUIVER WOULD CRUSH IT
> 
> Scott: EL DORADO HAS PERSONALITY
> 
> Clint: THE QUIVER HAS ARROWS
> 
> Natasha Romanoff: And some case files in the glove compartment...—what? They're so much more interesting to read than Vogue. 
> 
> Sam Wilson: Are you guys really fighting over your soccer mom cars? 
> 
> Peter Parker: Can one of them give me a ride to school? 
> 
> Tony Stark: No, they can't. Minivans are dangerous machines and have incredibly puny engines.
> 
> Scott: No they don't. El Dorado would crush your Lamborghini into dust. 
> 
> Tony Stark: Right, Lang. I'll drive Parker to school. 
> 
> Peter Parker: Love, fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers!!!
> 
> Author: He said my line! c,:


	3. Love and Thanos' Little Henchmen

~A L F H E I M~

From pushing Tony around in a shopping cart to wandering around a new realm of existence, I didn't really feel glued to reality. What I was seeing didn't really help too much.

Thor said he was visiting Alfheim, home of the elves, in his last letter. I was expecting enchanting forests and pointy ears and Orlando Bloom. Any dream or fantasy could not have prepared me for this.

“Hi,” I called out to the trees. They weren't normal Earth trees: The bark glowed a light, vibrant lavender, like neon signs. I couldn't imagine the composition of the atoms—Tony would go nuts over it. 

I wandered a little ways. The longer I was here, the more my eyes burned. Everything was bright and searing; the glowing trees, the aurora of northern lights shimmering in the sky. Even the ground, which was like snow, but not as wet—more powdery, like what they used in the movies. 

“Thor?” I called out hesitantly. “Hey, it's me—Angie.”

I waited silently. Nothing. No answer. 

I thought of something that would provoke a response. “I kissed Loki. It was really gross—his mouth is cold. It was like making out with Edward Cullen.” 

My cheeks burned up with embarrassment, even though I officially deemed myself alone. This was a stupid idea; I was as far away from Earth as I could get, looking for Thor, who had a reputation for not sticking in one place for long and could be gone by now—not to mention, I was dumb enough to leave the Avengers unsupervised.

I shoved my hands in my pockets, inhaling the sickly-sweet aroma of the air. It was icy and burned my lungs and nostrils. 

Something moved through the trees. I barely caught the movement out of the corner of my eye. 

My throat was suddenly dry. I moved my coat aside and reached for the gun tucked in my belt. That was Nat’s rule, whenever we left the house—always be armed. Even when she “moved out,” I still followed it. I made a mental note to make Natasha cupcakes or brownies or something when I got back.

My gloved fingers gripped the handle tight, blood roaring in my ears. I felt super-charged like I had drank all of Clint’s coffee. I had turned into one of those sensitive machines that sensed earthquakes from miles away.

Whatever it was skittered to a stop. It was tall—something about it's build made the back of my head feel fuzzy. It was familiar. 

I moistened my lips. I still pointed my gun at the ground, but it was edging higher. I squinted to see the details.

It clicked in my brain like clockwork, bringing unhappy memories. Memories of New York. Memories of the _ chitauri_. 

My legs were shaking now. When I finally aimed my firearm, two more had joined it, stalking towards me. The chitauri were gone, weren't they—? Tony sent a nuke into space. What could survive that…?

I started shooting. The sound made me wince, the blasting sound shattering the quiet atmosphere filled with the chime-like noise of the branches swaying. 

The first one staggered. My eyes widened as the other two raised their glowing rods.

Then they charged. 

I raced through the line of trees and darted in and out of the crystalline flora. The trees exploded into a thousand tiny sparkling timbers around me, like a horrifying lightshow of fireworks. It was a vile mix of terror and beauty. 

My heart was pounding, ready to burst out of my ribcage. They barreled through the exotic undergrowth behind me. The growls that vibrated from what I guessed were their mouths were an awful, guttural snarl. 

One of them appeared in front of me. I scrambled to a stop, still gripping my pistol tight. I turned—the other was behind me. Both aimed their glowing rods. 

I raised my gun. _ Should’ve picked up more nutella from the store this morning, Tony’s gonna eat it all or use it for some inhumane experiment in the lab—but I won't be alive to complain. _

If I was going down, I was taking one of them with me. I braced myself as I shot the one in front of me. I didn't stop, not even as it fell to the white powdery snow. 

I spun, shocked that the other hadn't killed me yet. 

A woman smiled over the corpse of the other. “You have a new face...you’re far from home.” 

I shrugged. “You know, just a little run-out of the house...grabbing a couple of things...” Just casually shopping around the cosmos for an adorable, goofy, golden-retriever-in-humanoid-form god. Would you happen to know where they sell those? 

She smirked, then her hand shot out. She offered me a sword, the hilt pointed towards me. Tattoos were littered across her face and arms, like the rune on Thor’s necklace, but with different designs. Did everything glow here? 

I hesitantly took the sheathed sword from her grip. “Err, thanks.” 

Her head cocked to the side. “Come with me.” 

~*~

“Odinson, we appreciate your disposal of Thanos’ little henchmen, but I say this for the last time: I am _ not _ in the possession of an _ infinity stone_.” 

I heard bits and pieces of conversation as we cut through the gardens. The capitol was much more elf-y than the glowing trees; everything was exposed to the outdoors, save the marble columns covered in vines. Hovering orbs of light luminated the way underneath the aurora dancing across the eternal night sky. 

“I believe you.” 

My head snapped up. I recognized his voice. The hoarseness to it, but some unique, exotic accent was interlaced with it. It seemed to conquer every other sound nearby. 

“Then why are you still _ here_?”

“I am allowed to sight-see, of course. You have a beautiful home, Gerd—love what you’ve done with the place. Did you plant some petunias over there?”

“Don't try to flatter me! I'm not every other wench living in the nine realms, seduced by you.” 

We stopped in one of the expanding gardens. Elves with their glowing tattoos were stationed beneath the trees with coral-pink leaves. I was more focused on the person standing before the throne. 

“Gerd,” the woman on the throne, sighed when she saw the girl from the wood walking beside me. “Asta, my dear. Any news?” 

He turned around. Thor’s face was full of shock when he saw me. All of the words from countless letters seemed to melt away, and it was just...him. I was mentally—and literally—speechless. I just felt...warm. Like I was in the same room as the sun. 

“Evie?” Thor completely forgot about the woman on the throne. I strayed from Asta and rushed to meet him. 

“You look good—not that you usually don't. You always do,” Thor started to ramble. I didn't even try to stop it; I just listened, feeling heat rush to my cheeks, basking in the full heat that my face radiated.

“—I like your look. It suits you,” Thor droned on. 

“Thor?”

“Yes?” 

“I missed you, too,” I grinned. Before I could wrap my arms around his waist, Thor hefted me up and spun me around. I returned to the ground with his hands on my waist, his touch making my skin warm even through the many layers I wore. 

My gaze finally peeked over at Gerd. My little bubble of joy popped under her unamused, slightly conniving expression. She didn't have any tattoos; her skin was bronze, like mine, and she reminded me of Vanessa Williams. 

“And who is this?” Her eyes scrutinized me, studying every inch of my body for weaknesses. 

Asta spoke up proudly, “My betrothed, mother.” 

I froze in Thor’s arms. We slowly looked over at her. “Uh...gesundheit?” I said in an uneven voice.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: Hi Awesome Adventurers! What did you think of our version of Alfheim? I thought we'd mix it up a little c: but we'll be back on Earth in the next chapter!
> 
> Jennifer Walters: Wow, these ladies got some firepower. I want in!
> 
> Tony Stark: Who are you again?
> 
> Bruce Banner: She's my cousin!
> 
> Tony Stark: Uh...
> 
> Bruce Banner: The lawyer I mentioned?
> 
> Tony Stark: Eh...
> 
> Bruce Banner: Really tall? Breaks something called a fourth wall, whatever that means.
> 
> Tony Stark: Mah—I'm running out of noises to make, here. 
> 
> Bruce Banner: *sigh* She also goes by She-Hulk.
> 
> Tony Stark: OOOOOOOH—I mean, hi.
> 
> Jennifer Walters: Wow, I love your heels, Tony. They're totes cute. Anyways, come on! Wade gets cameos all the time, Let's give this a shot—
> 
> Author: Yes. 
> 
> Jennifer Walters: Really? Just like that? I had a case prepared and everything—
> 
> Author & Thor & Carol Danvers: A-FORCE! A-FORCE! A-FORCE! A-FORCE! A-FORCE!
> 
> Author: Love, fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers! ;3


	4. Love and Bubonic Plagues

“Betrothed?” Thor repeated. “When? How?” 

Asta gestured at me, her silvery-white curls swirling softly like clouds at her every move. “She took my sword. Hence, she accepted my proposal. Would you mind handling my fiance more carefully?”

I gaped at her. My face burned under everyone’s gaze. “I didn't know it was a proposal! You just offered it to me, no words, no explanation, nothing! I thought it was just something for self-defense.” 

“It's actually quite common for marriage proposals to be anointed with weapons,” Thor uttered quietly. 

My face scrunched up. I thought of Loki, and how he tried to stab everyone near him. Maybe he started stabbing when he got turned down once. Or maybe he just liked stabbing people. I was too afraid—and embarrassed—to ask. 

My mind drifted to another Asgardian: Skurge. 

“Wait,” I pulled out Thor’s necklace, “I'm already betrothed. Doesn't that cancel out or something…?”

“But you didn't refuse _ my _ proposal,” Asta replied. It was hard to be mad at her: her tone was light and silvery, and she did save me from the chitauri. 

“Stop this madness,” Gerd’s voice commanded the room—err, garden. She glared over at Thor. “Are you two really fighting over a mortal?” 

Asta and Thor’s eyes met. It was weird to see two chipper, over-friendly people competing: it was like one was trying to out-smile the other. 

“There will be no fighting. Because she’s mine.” Thor said.

It made my body tingle a little too much to hear Thor say the lie out loud. Asta replied sweetly, “I think I suit her needs better: I gave her a sword, and you gifted her a nightlight.”

He glanced down at me. “You are a nightlight, so I don't see what's wrong with my gift. Everyone likes nightlights.” 

_ I don't know, I prefer your hammer—THANK GOD I DIDN'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD OH MY GOD I CAN'T THINK OF THIS WHEN I GET BACK TO WANDA OH MY GOD. _

I ignored my internal monologue crisis. “We’ll focus on that later—don’t I get a say in this?” 

“What? You reject my daughter’s proposal?” Gerd’s words were dripping with hostility. The guards stationed around the royal gardens tensed. 

I exhaled slowly. I missed the simple days, where I had to fight with Peter Parker over my youth. Now, I was fighting over marital partners. 

I left Thor’s side and stood in front of Asta. “Asta, I am so sorry I misunderstood your proposal. I am not familiar with your customs, and that is no excuse for any misconception I have caused. Is there any agreement we can come to to solve this?” 

Asta opened her mouth to answer. Gerd’s voice rang out, “The mortal isn't the only one charged with wrongdoing. Odinson, your father refused to lend us aid from the chitauri. They raided our villages. They murdered my people. Asgard has offended us.” 

Thor frowned at the news. I remembered Heimdall’s disappearance. Now Odin was ignoring the other realms. Was this strange behavior? Or was this just Odin being Odin? 

Gerd stood from her throne of wildflowers. The shawl of fur wrapped around her shoulders made her look like a Disney villain. “If you want to right this wrong, I have a task for you; our people serve the Light. The Eternal Flame was ours, until we bestowed it to Asgard. Return the Eternal Flame to us. If not, Asgard falls. And I'm not a fan of Midgard, mortals treat the environment terribly—we’ll raid that realm as well once we’re done.” 

~A V E N G E R S C O M P O U N D~

“You were gone for forty-five minutes.”

“Please, don't.”

“You were gone for forty-five minutes, and you came back engaged to a lesbian fairy princess,” Wanda judged me over the rim of her mug as she sipped her tea. 

“Don't say it out loud,” I groaned and stuffed my face into one of the throw pillows on the couch.

“Technically it was an _ elven _ lesbian princess,” I heard Stephen correct her. 

“Technically it was an elven lesbian princess and Thor,” Scott chimed in, forcing me deeper into the depths of the couch. I muffled my moans of misery. 

“Let’s recap here,” Nat said, steepling her fingers together and bringing them to her lips. Thor kept staring at her blonde hair with a distasteful look. “We need to find this Eternal Flame in twelve days, or elves overtake Asgard and invade here. And Angie has to marry Arwen from _ Lord of the Rings_.” 

“She had white hair,” I added. Asta agreed that the Eternal Flame had to be returned to call off the engagement. 

“Like the dragon lady from _ Game of Thrones_?” Scott piped up.

“Actually, I heard the dragon lady’s not a natural blonde. They dyed her hair for the show.” 

“What? Seriously? It's not real? I feel so betrayed…”

“Wait until he finds out the dragons aren't real,” Stephen muttered. The Sorcerer Supreme cleared his throat, “Thor, do you know where the Eternal Flame is?” 

I glanced over at Thor, who sat next to me on the couch. He winced, staring down at the glass table. “Well, it's sort of, complicated…”

“What happened? Did Smokey the Bear stomp it out?” Sam remarked. He stood behind Cap’s chair, chest puffed out, arms crossed. There was still unease between the Avengers. I hoped Thor would take away the pressure, somehow. 

“It has to do with Loki, doesn't it?” Clint said out loud. “That's when it all goes to shit, isn't it? Come on, buddy, tell me I'm right.”

Thor was extremely quiet for a minute. 

“Yes. Loki moved it to Earth.”

Clint leaned back in his seat with a smug smirk. “Called it. Knew it was the turd.” 

“Did you just call the God of Mischief a turd?” Scott glanced warily up at the ceiling, waiting for a lightning bolt to strike down from the heavens and smite someone. “Isn't that bad ju-ju or something?”

Rhodey nodded mutually. “Maybe. But it’s the truth; he was a real turd.” 

I felt a small smidge of relief. I could get everyone to agree on something—that was a start. 

“It was about, uh, seven hundred years ago,” Thor recalled. Peter Parker and Shuri sat criss-crossed on the ground, listening eagerly. “Loki—he was my brother, who was murdered by the dark elves—and he liked doing experiments and blowing things up, but our mother, who has also passed away very recently—she murdered by the dark elves too, but I killed all of them—anyways, she told him not to do the experiment on Asgard so he wouldn't destroy the kingdom. So he went to Earth instead,”

“What happened then, Mr. Thor?” Peter asked. 

“Well he did the experiment, and I believe he created something...a plague of some sort? Anyways—”

“Wait, you said seven hundred years ago…” Wanda started counting on her fingers. 

“Are you saying that Loki was responsible for the bubonic plague, commonly referred to as The Black Death?” Vision inquired in his usual neutral tone. 

I squeezed the pillow tight to my chest. I owned a small cupcake business (it helped smooth things over with my degree in political science, and it gave me a reason to avoid eating out), and I wondered if I should let the Avengers eat the latest order I made, just to take their minds off of European disasters. 

“Actually, that might have been my fault...I tried to make some soup…” Thor trailed off, suddenly solemn. 

I sat up abruptly. “Who wants cupcakes?” 

Tony’s head snapped away from the alcohol. “Mine! I get Steve’s!” 

I stood and walked away from the Avengers as they started to bicker amongst themselves. I went to the kitchen counter and peeked into the light-pink cardboard box—

Crap. The blush on my face matched the box. I cursed myself silently.

It was February, so over half of my orders were Valentine's Day-themed. This one was incredibly expressive, topped with antacids and messages inscribed in frosting. 

Nothing was going to take my mind off this stupid marriage-thing. Or Thor’s engagement present that he never told me about. Or my stupid feelings.

“Hey, they’re my colors.” 

I looked up at Wanda, smiling innocently. She had a small face with perfectly round eyes. Her high cheekbones made her look solemn outside of conversations, permanently tormented with knowledge in everyone else’s heads. 

I nodded and started to poke around drawers for paper plates. “You and Vision get to spend Valentine's Day together now. That's exciting.”

“We already had plans,” Wanda said, opening up a cabinet above and setting the plates on the counter.

She shrugged at my confused expression. “I didn't just stay in contact with you, even though texting you is..._ so _ much fun.”

“You know I prefer face-to-face.” 

Wanda glanced back at the living room. “So does he.” 

I didn't stare at who she was talking about. I bent down for napkins. Wanda leaned back on the black granite counter, “Vis and I had a system to keep in touch...kind of like you asking that Heimdall-guy about Thor.” 

“What's the point to all of this?” I said, standing upright again. I didn't overlook the comparison she made. 

Wanda had plucked one of the cupcakes with red frosting from the batch, rotating it with her slender, twig-like fingers. “He never did anything like that with Jane.”

“Jane was busy, she had a career.” 

Wanda offered me the cupcake she stole. “So do you.” 

I handled the cupcake lightly as I returned it to the box and closed it.

“I know you like him. And now he's here, and I've looked in his mind...and I think you should go for it.” Wanda said.

I sighed and looked up at her. Wanda was a mind-reader. As friends, it was something to get used to in the beginning, but after awhile, I didn't really mind anymore. I was her open book. Wanda understood me, probably better than anyone else. 

And she knew what I was about to say as I shook my head. “He’s nice, but I have so much on my plate right now. There’s the Accords and Ross and taking care of you guys. My business, college, this marriage-elf disaster—”

“You’re right.” She said. “But is adding one little cupcake to your plate too much?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool: AUTHOR
> 
> Author: Yes, dear? 
> 
> Deadpool: Hi :3
> 
> Author: Hi Wade :3
> 
> Deadpool: Hi Yukio!
> 
> Yukio: Hi Wade :D
> 
> Author: Hi Yukio!! 
> 
> Logan Howlett: Who gives a shit? 
> 
> Deadpool: GASP. YOU BROKE THE CHAIN, YOU HUNDRED YEAR-OLD TURD
> 
> Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Says the guy who has "poo" in his name. Yuki, the movie's starting.
> 
> Author: Bye Yukio!
> 
> Wade: Bye Yukio^^
> 
> Yukio: Bye Wade!! <3
> 
> Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Bye Poo. 
> 
> Wade: Bye Yuki-pooki ^-^
> 
> Yukio: Bye Wade!
> 
> Vision: This must be why Ultron looked at the human race and thought to himself, "Nope. They have to go."
> 
> Wade: DAMMIT YOU BROKE THE CHAIN AGAIN PAUL BETTANY WHY
> 
> Author: Love, fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers!! <3


	5. Love and War Cardigans

Any arguments were squelched with the power of cupcakes. Most of the group started wandering off, towards their old rooms. Thor and a few others remained. 

“We could use our satellites to search for this ‘Eternal Flame,’ ” T’Challa mused. Even when he was sitting on the love seat, his legs were crossed and his chin raised. He remained relaxed and regal, like a statue of a pondering greek god. 

“A spell may be more equipped to find it's signature,” Stephen remarked. 

I sat on the armrest of the couch, next to Thor as he spoke, “Or we could just go to Heimdall. He can see everything in the nine realms, very close friend of mine.” 

I bit my lip. “Thor...I don't think that's an option.”

All three looked up when I spoke. 

“Why not, Evie?” 

“I...heard some things. Can we talk about this, somewhere else, please?” I rose to my feet, waiting for him. I excused myself quietly as Thor followed me out of one of the many living rooms. 

I noticed a difference as I walked beside the tallest Avenger. Thor’s footsteps were loud, and his presence was prominent and known. Every now and then his arm would brush against mine. I kind of missed how he took up the empty space. 

My pace slowed when we reached one of the inside gardens. Sunlight spiraled down from a rectangular-shaped hole in the ceiling. Despite the February air, there were buds on the trees. 

We stood before the reflective glass, looking out at the small patch of greenery. 

“Did you get the flowers I sent you?” 

“Yes, they’re lovely. I planted them back at my apartment.” 

Thor’s reflection looked over at me in surprise. “They took to the soil?” 

I nodded, feeling my lips curving up. “I'm finishing up my degree in Chemistry. Just a few tweaks to the soil composition, they smell great.” 

Thor grinned. “So what about Heimdall, unless this was some plot just to spend time alone with me?”

“Oh no, you’re catching onto my master plan,” I crossed my arms and caught a glance at my playful expression in the glass. “But, when I went looking for you...I did notice something off.”

“What's wrong?” 

I was hesitant to tell Thor the news. He had more than enough concerns already without adding Heimdall’s disappearance to the mix. I didn't want to upset him...but I didn't want to hide anything from him, either. I already said too much...I couldn't back out now.

“Heimdall wasn't at the bifrost.” I said. I looked directly at him, hoping for an explanation. “Someone else was doing his job. He mentioned something about a trial…I’m sorry, I know you have a lot to worry about right now, but just...things didn't feel right when I was there. You deserve to know.” 

Thor’s face grew serious. His eyebrows flattened into a dark line over his eyes. “Thank you for the news. Since I started looking for the stones, I've come across many discoveries...that’s not the only odd thing I've heard about Asgard.” 

“What do we do?” 

“Deal with Gerd and this engagement first,” Thor insisted. “She’s not going to take this matter lightly...she’s a_ j__ötunn_.”

My eyes widened. It made sense; it explained why Gerd didn't have the glowing tattoos. And the furry shawl. “A frost giant? Like Loki?”

The name slipped through my lips before I could stop it. I hated to bring up Thor’s dead brother. It was a touchy subject; I was shocked he told the story about his brother earlier. I wondered how Thor was really doing, after Loki and his mother… 

Thor nodded. “Yes, and she never forgave Asgard after Jotunheim’s destruction.”

That explained the low levels of hostility Gerd radiated, but part of me suspected that was normal behavior for the goddess. Asta didn't seem hostile; I felt guilt for the whole engagement misunderstanding. 

I had more questions, about the chitauri, about the necklace that he gave me. The words died in my throat as Steve approached us. 

“Angie, we have a problem,” Steve was back to wearing his normal athletic shirts that hugged his Dorito-shaped torso tight. 

“What kind of problem?” 

His face was pale. “Secretary Ross just pulled up on the front lawn.” 

I panicked. Secretary Ross had grown to loathe me, and I wasn't really a fan of him either. Mostly because he wanted to arrest half of the Avengers, chuck them down a very dark hole, and throw away the key. 

“Hide! Go stuff yourself in a Dorito bag or something!” I spun back to Thor. “Ross can't know you’re here. Or anyone else.”

Thor frowned. “Why not?” 

“Because Steve had a patriotic tantrum and now half of us are criminals,” I explained as quickly and thoroughly as I could. 

“It wasn't a tantrum!” Steve remarked. “Stop listening to Wanda’s gossip...” 

I grabbed a hold of Thor’s massive arms, gazed up into his eyes, and felt my heart spike. “He cannot know you’re here. Please stay out of sight while I deal with him.” 

I hoped my stare was pleading enough. Ross didn't see Thor, the friendliest, kindest person on the planet who could make anyone smile. He just saw a pile of megaton nukes. And another legal battle was the last thing we needed right now. 

I saw Thor start to nod, and I rushed off. I glanced over at Rhodey a few rooms over, moving in the same direction. For once, I really hoped Clint was hiding safe and sound in the vents. 

I passed Tony as he was rushing up a hallway with Vision and Peter. Vision was wearing an orange sweater, what he called his “War Cardigan.” Sometimes I really didn’t understand what Wanda saw there. 

I made it to the door first and swung it open, forcing a smile on my face. “Secretary Ross, what a pleasant surprise.” 

It wasn't. I wanted to burn that stupid welcome mat and slam the door in his face, but I continued to smile because if I didn't, there were people I desperately loved that Ross could hurt, including my aunt, Pepper Potts. She was like my Oasis of Normality; I couldn't let anything happen to her. 

I stepped aside, knowing I would be mowed over if I didn't, as Secretary Thaddeus Ross strode into Avengers Compound. Ross always reminded me of a grandfather who got bored of retirement and returned to work, personally believing that he was the boss of everything. He spoke to me without turning around, continuing to walk in the other direction, “Let’s bypass formalities, Ms. Green. I heard some interesting tales about your morning, so let’s start there.” 

I inhaled sharply, and I made a mental note not to slam the front door shut. I followed the hellspawn that invaded my home. 

I looked somewhat formal; I was wearing tight pants that came to my mid-torso and a violet floral blouse. I held my head high with whatever dignity I could muster. “What did you want to know, Mr. Secretary—?” 

My pulse beat rapidly as Secretary Ross stood in the middle of the living room the Avengers recently vacated. There were still too many plates and too many crumpled napkins lying around. I swallowed a big lump in my throat as Ross slowly turned around to face me. 

“Huh. Looks like you’ve been busy, Ms. Green,” He gestured at the litter, “or you keep a very untidy house.”

Rhodey stood at my side, his arms folded over his chest. “She’s not the maid. That's my fault, some old military pals of mine came in for a visit.”

Ross seemed to buy the half-lie and lounged on the couch where I recently sat next to Thor, kicking up his shoes on the cushions. “I heard that you took a little trip this morning.”

I sat in the armchair nearby, crossed my legs and folded my hands on top of them. Vision perched on one of the arms, trying to look fierce in his loud orange sweater of doom. 

I stayed quiet. I learned that silence caused discomfort, and discomfort made mouths run. 

Ross, an impatient man, huffed. His mustache twitched, “Did you come into contact with Thor, Ms. Green?” 

“No, Secretary Ross. I believe I’ve already informed you that I’ve been visiting Asgard to inquire about Thor’s whereabouts.” I said. “I will notify you when I hear something.” 

“Hmph.” Ross’ mustache twitched. “And Banner?” 

Dr. Bruce Banner had gone missing since Sokovia. Even T’Challa helped look for him, using his satellites, but Bruce was wiped off the map. I missed his mellow vibe and corny science jokes. 

“Not a word,” I said.

Ross’ fingers tapped an irritated rhythm on the black leather cushions. “You know, Ms. Green, I gave you free reign because I expected results. But someone under the age of twenty-five that has been through two kidney transplants is bound to make mistakes.”

I felt my fingers tighten the slightest bit over my knee, the wad of pressure searing. I pressed my lips together and fired back at him, “Mr. Secretary, I think my own medical background pales in comparison to someone of your..._mature _ age, in which you underwent a triple bypass. I believe that I am capable of doing my job,”

I leaned forward, “but if you have any reason to doubt my authority, I don't think you’ll benefit from underestimating me.” 

I didn't have superpowers. I couldn't fly. I wasn't an acrobat like Natasha, or a born marksman like Clint. But my aunt was Pepper Potts. I was assistant to some of the most powerful business owners in the world. I had my connections. I could fight Ross, in my own way. But could I risk Pepper and everyone else in that battle? 

The tension of the moment was shattered when Peter sneezed. 

“Bless you,” My eyes widened when I heard Clint’s mutter from the vents.

Peter frowned and looked up. “Jesus?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hia Awesome Adventurers! I hope all is well, and I'd love to hear what you think so far! Sorry for all of the bumps in the road setting up this series, but I want you guys entertained and interested. Hearing your thoughts kind of helps me because I can get wishy-washy sometimes, and then I feel like there's something I need to fix. I'd love to hear your amazing thoughts c: love, fortune and glory to you!!


	6. Love and Puddles of Drool

Ross immediately sat up from the couch. I could feel my heart racing in my chest. We blew it—literally. Dammit!

In my mind, I thought of all the escape routes in the Compound. I wondered if I could make it to the couch and try to strangle the old man before he called the United Nations. Somewhere in my wild musings, I had a dream of bailing on everything, kidnapping Thor, and sneaking out of the country to start a new life in Australia. 

_ Ha! The Thunder from down Under. _ Wanda’s voice invaded my head. She was eavesdropping. _ Sorry—I overheard and it just came to me and I had to say something. _

_ Wanda, if you don't leave my fantasy-world, I’m telling everyone about that dream you had with Bucky in a Mad Hatter costume, _ I thought back. We both knew I wouldn't, but I was too embarrassed by what she saw.

Tony sighed and interrupted my wild thoughts. “Crap, that new A.I. that I installed is going all haywire with the audio. Can't find out why the hell it’s making that echo noise, like it's coming from the vents.”

“That—that sounded like Barton,” Ross scrambled, his eyes searching the ceiling for the source. 

“Yeah, well, you arrested all my friends. I've been so lonely,” Tony looked like he wanted to barf at the mention of “friends,” but it wasn't hard for him to look somber. 

Rhodey was still standing across the room, looking very offended. “What, am I a joke to you?” 

Ross contemplated. My heart hammered in my chest. My palms were slick with sweat. The last time Ross got his hands on the Avengers, Wanda ended up in a cell with an _ electroshock collar_. I shuddered at the thought. I couldn't imagine what they would try to do to Thor.

“Alright.” Ross grunted as he rose from the couch. “I have more important things to do today. Just remember,”

He glared right at me. “I’m watching you. And if I find you with Romanoff, Rogers—or anyone else deemed a criminal by the United States government, there will be consequences.”

Ross’ gaze drifted to Tony. “And if the Avengers decide to take any global action without the United Nations’ consent, you can kiss your freedom goodbye, Stark.” 

Ross passed me on the way out. I did not get up and lead him to the door. I was afraid my body language would say too much. Arguably, I had already said too much: I threatened Ross. He would not forget that. 

Tension lingered on me, even after the door slammed shut. 

Tony groaned and rolled over on the love seat, suffocating himself in the pillows. “Should’ve grabbed some Claritin from the store this morning.”

Vision propped himself up slightly on my armrest. “I think the bright tangerine hue intimidated him.”

Tony’s muffled moan came across the coffee table. 

“If we’re gonna start looking for that Eternal Flame—and we’re probably gonna have to enter other countries to do it—we’re gonna have to lay low. United Nations officials are everywhere.” Rhodey said, starting to awkwardly pace in front of the large flatscreen. 

I traced my eyebrows with my fingers, a nervous habit of mine. “I think we’ll need to cross the Atlantic. And Ross will know if the Quinjet is missing.” 

“I may be able to help with that.” 

Everyone but Tony looked up at Strange as he entered the room. He still had on the blue robes from before, topped with his animated cloak that played with Tony’s hair as Stephen passed. 

Wanda had rejoined us, standing nearby as she clasped Vision’s hands. “If the Eternal Flame is Asgardian, it's going to give off a specific signature. It shouldn't be too difficult to find. Afterwards, you could make a portal to wherever it is—you still have your sling ring, don't you?”

Stephen nodded, flashing the golden item that rested atop his knuckles.

Rhodey was still thinking, stroking the light stubble on his chin. “I think Angie’s onto something. Ross will know if the Quinjet is missing—he’s on alert. If all of us go, that's a big field trip. I think we’re gonna have to make some cuts. Some of us should stay here in case Ross comes sniffing around.”

I winced when I thought of the Avengers, divided, on the same property without supervision. “Those who stay...can they stay off of Ross’ radar?” 

Vision perked up. “Ms. Romanoff could always drug them into a deep sleep.”

My eyes widened and I looked away. Natasha was a highly trained assassin, mama bear and undercover pharmacist rolled into one. If anyone could keep things quiet around here, Nat could.

“Alright then. The rest of us will go to the sanctum, and I’ll fix up a tracking spell,” Stephen concluded. 

“We’re going to Hogwarts?” Peter piped up. 

“Here, kid—take my glasses,” Tony rolled over and plucked his sunglasses from his coat pocket. He balanced the bulky lenses on Peter’s face, then nodded when they were straight.

“Do I look like a wizard, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked. 

Wanda and Stephen exchanged exhausted looks as Tony grinned. “All you need are a crowd of fangirls, and you could be Daniel Radcliffe, kiddo.” 

~N E W Y O R K S A N C T U M~

Tony snorted. “Wow, this place is almost as ancient and old-fashioned as Steve.”

The Avengers fanned out across the second floor, weaving between the exotic artifacts and glass cases. 

“At least it's not tiny. Or wearing heels,” Steve muttered, making Tony gasp. 

I gave both of them the best warning look I could muster. “Behave.”

It was hard to focus on them. I loved visiting the sanctum. There were so many hidden oddities here, like all of the secrets and enigmas of the world were stowed in one single house. 

As my eyes skimmed the book cases, I gasped out and pulled a novel from the shelf. “Is this written by _ Socretes_?”

Stephen leaned over my shoulder. “Yeah—you’ll like that one. Plato hardly captures the full perspective of his theories.”

I looked up, and studied the neighbors of the book on the shelf. “My God, this is incredible.” 

Stephen took a dramatic step back. “Alright, I'm stepping away from the puddle of drool.” 

“Ha ha.” I returned the book and kept walking. “What do you need for the tracking spell?” 

“Not much—just need to check for any Asgardian modifications. Shouldn't be too difficult,” Stephen mused and sped up. He glanced back at me, “You already know your way around here. Relax, read a book. I’ll take care of it,” 

It was a relief to hear those words. I decided to let the sorcerer with the photographic memory and a PhD take over. I settled on one of the old-fashioned Victorian loveseats and snatched a random book from the shelves nearby. It was either pure coincidence or the power of the sanctum; I chose a book on Asgardian relics. 

“So…” I jumped against the cushions and looked up at Thor. It was amazing how sneaky the six foot god could be—or how little I paid attention when a book was in my lap.

He smiled, but there was something slightly off about it. Like the smile he’d used on Asta, “What did he mean by ‘you know your way around’?”

Thor gestured at the open spot on the loveseat next to me, and I nodded eagerly for him to join me. It was a small piece of furniture, and Thor’s massive physique made personal space fiction. Heat seemed to roll off of him in waves. I found it strangely comforting.

“I visit sometimes,” I admitted. ‘Visit’ was putting it mildly; it was like my haven of solitude. It was easy to forget my problems here. I looked down at the book in my lap and flipped through the pages mindlessly, “He’s got some cool stuff in here. It's nice, I like it here...it reminds me of you.”

I peeked over at Thor. There was a huge grin on his face, swelling with joy. He scooted closer and leaned on my shoulder as I breezed through the book. I didn't even see what was on the pages anymore. I was too aware of his presence next to me. It was the only thing my mind would focus on. 

I wanted to enjoy this simple moment alone with him, pressed together on the loveseat, surrounded by books and pillows. The serenity didn't last. 

“Scott, please stop showing me images of kittens.” I overheard T’Challa say.

“Oh! Can you say ‘kittens’ again in your accent? That sounds so cool, like some secret codeword.” 

“You are a manchild, Scott.” 

“And _ you _ are a witch with a _ b_—I’m sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, Wanda. I'm sorry—!”

Thor’s head shifted, his beard tickling my collarbone. I shivered from the hot, prickly feeling. His gruff, throaty voice turned low, “They’re worse than what you described in your letters.”

“I'm sorry I didn't have more good news,” I grimaced. 

“Any news from you is good news,” Thor murmured. 

_ Go for it! Make a move! _ I heard a voice in my head say.

I was skeptical. _ Wanda, is that you? _

_ No! I mean, it’s your subconscious. You should kiss Thor, because you spend too much time alone, and it would make other people really happy and entertained—speaking of Wanda, you should totally let her borrow that pink skirt of yours for Valentine's Day. _

Without moving my head, I glared through my eyelashes across the room at Wanda. 

_ Wanda? _ I thought.

_ Yes? _

_ I suddenly remember the time I saw my neighbor, Wade Wilson, naked. _

My head was silent. I took this as a sign of victory, and focused on the book in my lap.

“What is that?” I asked out loud. A drawing of the relic was sketched onto the page. 

“The Casket of Ancient Winters,” Thor replied, his hot breath scalding my skin. “Used to belong to Jotunheim. It's stowed in Odin’s vault on Asgard now…”

“Huh,” I flipped through the book a little more, and I found an article dedicated to the Eternal Flame. It seemed ordinary enough; just fire in a golden basin. But if we didn't find it, Asgard was doomed, Earth would be sacked, and I would be forcibly married to the ruler of Narnia.

“Why did you decide to visit Earth with Loki?” I muttered curiously. “I know you guys did things together, and you visited Earth in the past. But...it doesn't sound like a trip you’d be into.”

Thor froze against me. Then another ramble started, “Just supervising him—mother didn't trust Loki alone with mortals, he always liked stabbing everyone. She sent me to watch over him.” 

I nodded along, even though I didn't believe him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark: So when did Sabrina the Teenage Witch team up with Harry Potter? I want details, people.
> 
> Wanda Maximoff: None of your business, Stark ;-;
> 
> Stephen Strange: We met when Wanda was trying to make an intergalactic gateway to her closet, nearly destroying reality as we know it. 
> 
> Wanda Maximoff: Nobody died—it's not important.
> 
> Stephen Strange: We get coffee every Saturday. Loki joined our group recently. He keeps stealing the butter knives. 
> 
> Author: Hi, Awesome Adventurers! Thank you so so much for your patience, it's been a mess over here, and not just because all the knives are missing. We got some more ideas for this series as a whole, and we're going to add two special extra chapters to part 1 of this series, "The Earthen Goddess" so you all can catch a glimpse of our future cosmic action c: and the Peter Quill love triangle is back on, and will start up at the end of this book! Yay!
> 
> Peter Quill: Yeah! The Guardians are back, baby!
> 
> Carol Danvers: Bring on the cosmic action ;)
> 
> Author: We'll have more soon! Love, fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers!!


	7. Love and Exes

~S T O N E H E N G E~

Stephen used a portal to carry our smaller group to the location of the Eternal Flame. It was after hours at the famous historical site, Stonehenge. The slabs of rock standing upright loomed ominously as we stretched out across the field. 

“Security’s are taken care of,” Clint announced, picking at the tip of an arrow as he stared at the stone structures. A pit of unease festered in my stomach with Clint and the others here. Clint was supposed to be on house arrest, not sneaking around the ruins of Stonehenge. I found myself in a constant state of alertness, waiting for Secretary Ross to appear from behind a stone slab with a smug look on his stupid face.

Beams of light flicked on from Tony’s suit, “Alright, Doc, where’s the Goblet of Fire?” 

I squinted in the dark to see Stephen. He was standing still near the center of the ruins, frowning at the grass. His murmur was low, “Something’s not right.” 

My head whipped around at a buzzing noise. 

“Sorry, Angie! I just...I figured it would help make less of a crowd if I was tiny,” I heard Scott say nearby. “Mind if I hang out on your shoulder?” 

Scott had a tendency to do this with different members of the team. Some were okay with it; some retaliated with mosquito spray. I didn't really care. 

“Sure, Scott.” I mumbled. 

“Is it okay if I use a strand of your hair to wrap around me, to secure myself?”

I knew that if I said no, the possibility of Scott tumbling down my shirt was higher. So I nodded, the gesture very restricted knowing that he was loose on my shoulders somewhere. “Have at it.” 

I felt a sharp sting of pain in the back of my head, but it was closer to the left side. Scott was secure. I took this as a sign to continue walking. 

“We would not have this issue if we used my satellites,” T’Challa chided as he approached the sulking sorcerer. 

Stephen shook his head. “That's not it. It's here—it _ was _ here, anyway. Unless it was _ moved… _” 

Thor was standing off to the side, staring out into the wall of ebony that surrounded us. The full moon lurked in the sky above him. They were almost mirror images of each other: bright and hopeful, in a state of eternal watching. 

Tentatively, I placed a hand on his shoulder. I usually felt awkward whenever trying to pull off any physical contact, but with Thor, it was more natural—and much more of a rush. “Everything okay?” 

I barely caught his blink of surprise in the moonlight. His gaze turned to me, “Yes—it’s good. It’s great.” 

I nodded, although the small feeling of doubt in me was still there, ever since he dismissed why he came to Earth in the first place. 

“You sure about that?” I asked. It was obvious that something was eating at him, but Thor didn't come clean. I wondered if it was healthy for him to bottle everything up like this.

“Thor has such a manly smell,” Scott gushed on my shoulder, breaking the silence. “Like, woah, it's just so overpowering. It's like a perfect combination of sea breeze, cedar, and mermaid tears.” 

Thor smiled from overhearing the sort-of compliment. “Thank you, mouse-man.” 

The roar of flames caught everyone’s attention. 

The source came from the center of the ruins. Emerald-green light danced across the gray slabs of stone standing up, stabbing the sky. 

The jade-colored flames crackled in the palm of a woman who leaned against the stone. “It's a lovely night—almost romantic, isn't it?” 

Harboring Scott also meant having to hear his commentary first-hand. “Holy crap! Is that blonde Maleficent?” 

Everyone else in the clearing armed themselves. T’Challa’s suit was lit up with streaks of violet. An orb of energy was balanced in Wanda’s hands. My fingers slid to the handle of my gun. 

Thor’s arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me up against him. It was an unexpected movement, one that seemed a little over dramatic for just one enemy. I was relieved for the green light that overpowered every other color so my blush went unnoticed. 

The blonde curls of the mystery woman were emerald vines in the light of her flames. The gypsy-style of her clothes looked familiar; it was Asgardian. The most shocking part of her appearance was how flawless and breathtakingly beautiful she was.

She scanned the sea of faces in the dark until they flit in my direction. Her eyes narrowed.

I glanced up at Thor when he swallowed loudly. 

“So, which relative is it this time, Thor?” Clint was the only one who didn't seem dazed by her. “Sister? Cousin?” 

The blonde glanced over at him with an amused smirk and a saucy wink. “I'm the Ex.” 

_ The Ex. _ When she said the words, it was like she was reading off poetry; every syllable was proper and soft in a seducing manner. I was more worried about what the words meant, trying to process the meaning of them. Peter was right: Thor was old. He had lived for centuries, and I couldn't imagine (and didn't want to) how many women he was with. He was with Jane, but Jane didn't bother me like this person did. She reminded me of Shrödinger’s cat; an eerie enigma. 

Thor finally spoke. “Amora.” 

When Amora strode forward, it was almost rhythmic and predatorial, like a jungle cat. Her emerald gems for eyes were hard and ruthless. “You don't look the same. Still sexy, sure, but the eyes are different...is this your little human cult? The Avengers?” 

Her eyes shifted down to me, pressed into Thor’s side. Her lips pursed, “I heard Foster left you.”

“I left her, actually. We both left, we have our own lives,” Thor said. He didn't sound nearly as cheerful as he did during his usual rambles. More...cautious. He exhibited no excitement in this exchange.

Thor’s arm tightened around my waist. 

“Well, I’m sure this one’s funny,” Amora’s eyes pierced me. The heat of hostility rolled off in waves from her. I felt my head tilt to the side reflexively. She reminded me of all the obnoxious, toxic cliques I knew in high school.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. What brings you here?” I asked, shocked that I kept my voice so composed. Even Wanda gave me a weird look.

_ Seriously? No comeback? Come on, at least make a comment about those fake extensions, _ Wanda’s voice complained in my head.

I had to control my expression so my true impression of her stayed subtle. _ I'm not stooping to her level—I won't give her the satisfaction. _

Amora’s elegantly-shaped eyebrow rose at me. She held up the flames in her hand at Thor, “I'm allowed to visit an old flame.” 

Stephen spoke up, approaching her from the side. “As Sorcerer Supreme and protector of this planet,_ I _ decide who comes and goes from Earth. I suggest you leave.” 

Amora shrugged nonchalantly, her slender shoulders moving like a perfectly sculpted landscape. “That’s fair...I already have what I came for.”

Amora shot off the ground, emerald flames flaring out of her fingertips. 

Thor yanked me with him behind one of the stone structures. I saw a glimpse of Wanda and Stephen shooting off into the air after her. The air crackled with a new type of energy that left my skin riddled with goosebumps. 

“Are you alright?” Thor asked me.

Movement near his shoulders caught my eye. I couldn't stop my mouth from dropping open at what I saw. 

“I’ll live. Is that you?” I pointed over his shoulder. 

It was hard to make it out in the night. Fog started to roll over the open field. My eyes narrowed as I caught a familiar figure near it. 

“No,” Thor breathed the answer.

The sounds of fighting shrieked in my ears. I winced when I recognized Wanda’s cry of pain. “Go—do your thing! I’ll be back.”

I started to sprint off, but there was no escaping his tight arm around my waist. Thor’s electric blue eyes didn't leave mine, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I insisted, trying to wiggle out of his grip. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I have Scott,”

“Yeah! I’ll be the Mushu to your Mulan! Let’s do this!” Scott cheered. Apparently Scott was still watching Disney princess movies with his daughter. 

I didn't know how to dismiss Thor. The rest of the Avengers were fighting Amora alone—but it wasn't all of them. And they hadn't fought together for a while. They needed him out there—and I needed Amora distracted.

I threw another quick glance over his shoulder at the figure near the edge of the mist. It was melting into the wall of darkness. 

“You’ve known Amora the longest—you know how to take her down. If we don't take her out now, she’ll still be a problem later,” I pointed out.

“My concern is _ you_, not her,” Thor retaliated, although my words were dawning on him. 

“Punch something for me,” I successfully broke through his grasp and raced to the line of fog. 

I scrambled down a slight decline in the grassy field, hoping I wouldn't slip on the now dew-covered and extremely dangerous lawn. I left Stonehenge behind, focusing on the faint shadow of someone. 

“Hey! There’s a guy right there—who is that? Amora’s flying monkey?” Scott guessed. 

I already knew the curve of armor around his shoulders. I called out to him, “Skurge!” 

The bald Asgardian glanced back at me, his pace slowing. A golden disk was hoisted under his arm. 

Then he ducked his head and ran towards the fog.

“When we get close enough, you’re jumping on him and knocking him out,” I muttered to Scott. 

“If we don't lose him in the eerie, foreboding mist. Why didn't we just tell Thor about this?” Scott asked. 

“Because the Avengers haven't fought together in months. If one of them hits the other after the Accords, what do you think will happen?” I gasped between pants. He was the best distraction for Amora, too.

“Skurge!” I managed again right before he plunged into the wall of mist. He finally stopped and faced me. I held out my empty hands, feeling a tingle along my left arm. Scott was on the move. 

“I thought you served Asgard,” I accused.

“Amora _ is _ Asgardian,” Skurge remarked. 

“That’s not the same thing—when I met you, you had honor. You had respect,” I scrambled for a distraction, hoping Scott was getting closer. The golden dish under Skurge’s arm glinted in the moonlight. It must’ve been the basin that held the Eternal Flame, yet I didn't see any light coming from it.

“...I have a weakness.” Skurge admitted reluctantly. “I can't say no to strong, independent women.” 

My eyes widened. It wasn't the comeback I was expecting. Skurge continued, “I’m also...a little lonely. And I feel ignored...a lot.” 

I blinked. I felt pity for Skurge; he was another introvert, trying to prove himself. And, like Thor, he had utmost respect towards women. 

“Forgive me, Lady of Tex-_a_s,” Skurge bowed his head as he started walking back towards the gloom. “I must—”

“BLACK FLAG’S GOT NOTHING ON ME, BABY!” Scott shouted nearby. Skurge flew back, into the fog. He was still holding the golden disk. 

The disk. 

I cursed under my breath as I broke through the wall of mist after him. The wall of precipitate swallowed me whole, clinging to everything; my hair, my clothes, my skin. When I breathed in, it was like inhaling water.

I could barely see three feet in front of me. I turned on the light to my phone, searching for where Skurge had fallen. I hoped he was unconscious. Scott was like a bullet when he hit anything in his small form, but would it be enough to knock out an Asgardian?

I wandered around the inky blackness, holding my phone up against utter blindness. Water droplets started to collect in my hair. 

Where did the mist come from? Thor said it wasn't him. It could’ve just been normal fog, but it was so...thick. Was it Amora’s doing? That conclusion made me shiver. I could’ve been stumbling around a poisonous gas cloud for all I knew. 

I focused my light on the ground, searching for any sign of the Asgardian. Footprints, squished grass, a body. I shined the light around, and my eyes narrowed as I saw a flash of something bulky on the ground—

Skurge’s boot. 

I started to race towards him when two iron bars wrapped around my waist. I lost my grip on my phone as I was wrenched up from the ground.

“Hey—!” I pulled on the arms locked tight around my waist. My hands felt icy skin and soft leather. 

Flailing my legs in the air wasn't helping any. I jabbed my elbow into my pursuer. It was like hitting marble. 

Something started to glow in the mist. It was Skurge’s limp body. I felt the intruder behind me still as Skurge and the shape of the disk that held the Eternal Flame emitted a soft jade light. 

I took advantage of the distraction and made a fist, planning to bury it in my captor’s eye socket.

I turned with my hand raised—

Loki’s face was lit up by the emerald hue.

Everything went dark.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: Hi, Awesome Adventurers!! World travel is pretty difficult with the virus going around right now, so maybe we can take our own little international trip together!
> 
> Deadpool: Say, Author. If I do not recall from my totally badass, incredibly successful films that destroyed the box office, I did some international traveling of my own >.> <.< 
> 
> Author: Uhuh
> 
> Deadpool: And it does seem to correlate with the time line of the book...
> 
> Author: Hmm, by golly you're right. It does.
> 
> Deadpool: :D X-Force! X-Force! X-Force!
> 
> Author: Nah.
> 
> Deadpool: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "NAH"? I'VE DONE LIKE FIVE FANFICS FOR YOU, LADY. I'VE BEEN UNDER CONTRACT—AND I ONLY KILLED YOU LIKE ONCE AND TAKEN OVER ONE STORY, BUT THAT WAS FOR THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE. THAT WAS JUSTICE.
> 
> Author: That story did deserve to die. But I didn't!! I was kidding, anyway, you get your cameo. 
> 
> Deadpool: Yay :3 love fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers!!


	8. Love and Pain

~L O N D O N~

When I opened my eyes, two green ones stared right back. 

“_Mrow. _”

My eyes narrowed at the black cat that sat perched on my chest. The eyes looked familiar. I glared at him. 

Tony’s face was suddenly beside the cat, sighing silently with relief. “Thank God, she’s still alive.”

His head tilted up, and he said a little louder, “Oh look, Angie woke up from her _ nap_. I told you she wasn't dead, Nat.”

I gave him a weird look. Suddenly Tony backed off, and Wanda walked across the room, holding out a laptop. It was a small apartment, with a fireplace at one wall and glass-paned windows on the other. Dim gray light escaped the transparent curtains, not giving any sign as to what time of day it was. I was lying on the couch, with the cat still pressing down on me.

“Wanda, go straight,” A voice ordered from the monitor. Wanda obeyed, moving with the laptop facing out. Natasha’s face took up the entire screen. She had stayed at the Compound with the others, but that didn't stop her from being involved.

Wanda paused before me, holding the computer so I was eye level with Natasha’s glitchy image. “Hi, sweetie. How was your ‘nap’?” 

“Uh…” I glanced up as Tony and Clint made a bunch of wild gestures with their hands behind the screen. I looked back at the concerned assassin, “Long.”

Nat nodded feverently. I heard Shuri’s voice coming from the laptop, “Can I have my laptop back now?” 

“No. Go play with Tony’s toys,” Nat’s image insisted.

I heard Shuri’s long, drawn out groan. “But it’s _ so _ outdated!”

Behind Nat’s shoulder, I saw Steve making coffee in the Compound’s kitchen. Natasha stared at me through narrowed eyelids, peeking at me over the rim of her mug. “So I heard Thor’s girlfriend showed up last night.”

Last night. That meant I was out for a few hours. We only had eleven days now. Eleven days, and then Earth would be invaded, and I’d be _ married_. My stomach churned at the thought.

I tried to focus on other things, like Nat’s observation. “Yeah, I think she has the Eternal Flame now. We have to track her down and get it back.”

“Mmm, speaking of flames, I’m sure the _ sparks _ are _ flying _ with you and Thor, if you know what I mean,” Natasha shot me an over-exaggerated wink. 

Wanda sighed as she held the computer. “Oh, there are sparks. But it's such a slow-burn romance—Evie isn't making a move at all. Can I put this down? My arms are getting tired.”

Nat ignored her. I focused on my one way out of embarrassing, romantic, mushy topics. “Steve!” 

Steve looked up in the background from pouring his coffee. “Oh. Hi, Angie.” 

“Hi. How’s it going?” 

“Dandy.” Steve sipped his coffee. “It’s nice to have real coffee, not boiled water...being on the run really burns your mouth.”

“Huh. Wish you were here.”

“I prefer America, thanks.” Steve walked off. My one escape from gooey romance topics vanished. I had to be more creative.

“My...nap, really brainwashed me,” I said, clearing my throat as I sat up. The black cat gave me a foul look, flexing one paw. The glint of claws flashed. “How’d we get here, again?”

“We needed a place to lie low. Stephen said he used to own a flat here in London,” Wanda answered, frowning at the british term. “He’s arguing with the housekeeper downstairs.”

“Oh.” I remembered when Stephen told me about some of the places he traveled to over his career. I vaguely remembered his time in the UK. 

I glanced at the obsidian feline sitting next to me, watching my every move. “What’s with the cat? Is it yours or T’Challa’s?”

Natasha smirked on the desktop. Wanda scowled at me. “We found it on the street. Thor took pity on it and brought it with us. Says he likes cats.” 

_ “Mrow,” _ the cat rolled over when Thor was mentioned, tail swishing back and forth. The cat set me on edge. It's eyes, like a pair of green grapes, had an astonishing intelligence to them. 

I groggily rose from the couch, waving to Nat on the laptop. “I miss you, Nat.” 

“You too, Evie. Wanda, report to Clint.”

Wanda sighed, her head hung low, as she followed orders and scouted out the old man with resting murder-face. 

I wandered around the enclosed space. The “flat” was a lot smaller than American apartments; one glance outside revealed cars driving in the left lanes and beautiful, aged architecture. 

I found a staircase that lead to the roof. The sky was dreary and overcast. Sometimes I wondered if the weather reflected Thor’s mood all the time; if it did, he wasn't cheerful now. 

Across the roof, two figures sat near the edge, looking out at the city. I heard murmurs of their conversation as I came closer.

“—when I lost my father, I was numb in the very beginning. Then the anger came.”

“And after?” 

“That was the worst, I think.” I identified T’Challa’s voice. “Because he was gone. And life was going on without him.” 

I paused halfway across the roof. Thor and T’Challa’s exotic accents were raspy and solemn. I caught onto the intensity of this specific topic, one that I didn't feel comfortable intruding on.

“But losing your mother, and your sibling...I cannot imagine—” T’Challa caught sight of me right as I was turning away. I paused, shuffling my feet awkwardly. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you,” I started. 

They shook their heads stiffly. Thor said, “It’s good to see you awake, Evie. How do you feel?” 

I crossed the roof and stood near them. Thor and T’Challa were sitting on the edge of a dormant chimney stump. I shrugged, “Better, thanks. I didn't want to interrupt anything—” 

“It's alright. We could use a subject change,” T’Challa insisted. The tension of their past conversation still lingered. 

“When you started staying at the Compound, everyone was looking forward to it, especially Vision,” I said to T’Challa. “He thought you were remarkable. He still does.”

T’Challa stood and clasped one of my hands. He gave my fingers a gentle squeeze, “You are too kind.”

I shrugged. “Nah, more honest. That's how it is with family.” 

T’Challa looked like he wanted to respond. His lips even parted slightly, but no words came. Eventually he just smiled, squeezed my fingers one last time and walked off. 

My attention turned to Thor. He was still sitting on the edge of the chimney, which made us closer to eye level. 

“Are you trying to make everyone fall in love with you?” Thor asked, smiling. 

My non-existent love life countered that statement. I stood before him, dubious, “Why, is it working—? It's the cupcakes, isn't it?” 

“That does _ sweeten _ the deal,” Thor mused. 

I settled onto the brick ledge next to him. We gazed out at the gloomy landscape together. 

“_Are _ you doing okay?” I asked, peeking up at him. 

“It seems like you keep asking me that.” 

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you,” My face scrunched up. Pepper always said I worried too much. She said I inherited it from her, and I believed it. “It's just...you’ve been through some pretty impossible things, and I care about you, and so does everyone else downstairs.”

Thor mumbled. I didn't catch any syllables, it was more of a, “hmm.” There were so many things I wanted to say. About Amora, about Skurge, about seeing Loki’s face last night—but now, I wasn't really sure if I saw him or not. Maybe it was nerves, or the fog really was poisonous. I felt fine now.

I was grasping at straws. I used the best example that my mind could come up with, “You know, the greek gods faced _ tons _ of obstacles. Everyone has their own battles. Remember when we read Percy Jackson together? I think you should be more gentle with yourself, you have feelings like everyone else.” 

I was cringing at my words. It sounded stupid when I said it out loud, but I had to try. The thought of him suffering in silence…that hurt more than embarrassment.

It happened so fast, if I blinked, I would’ve missed it. Thor’s arms came around my shoulders and crushed me to his form. His entire, massive figure was shaking. It was like being at the epicenter of an earthquake. 

“My mother hated Amora,” His breath was hot against my ear. “She used to scheme and perform rituals with my brother...she reminds me of them.” 

The sky started to darken around us. Thunder echoed across the sky. The wind picked up a little, which would’ve made me uneasy on the roof, but I was too preoccupied with Thor. 

My chin brushed against his shoulder as I nodded along. Scott was right; Thor did have an amazing smell. It was so...fresh, and musky at the same time. There was a beautiful balance to it, nearly intoxicating. 

“That's understandable,” I blurted.

“And now they’re gone. They’re all gone.” Thor’s voice broke. I never heard his voice crack before. It made my own eyes tear up. 

He was holding me tight against him, and I didn't doubt there would be bruises later. I ignored it, rubbing his back and smoothing his hair. He seemed to like the attention to his hair.

“But it’s alright.” Thor replied, in an attempt to sound chipper. “I’m still here, you’re still here…everything’s fine. It's good, it's great.”

My eyes widened as he reset his mask of strength and confidence. I was shocked to feel pain festering in my chest—my insides were throbbing like wounds. It hurt to see Thor this way, and it was twice as agonizing to see him try to downplay it.

Again, I played visions of my secret daydream over in my mind of kidnapping Thor and fleeing to Australia. Thor would like it there. All of the exotic, huge and terrifying wildlife. And a possible sighting of a rare Hugh Jackman. Thor might like surfing. He would be happy there. 

Over my shoulder, I saw that the cat had snuck onto the roof, staring at the blond giant with an expression close to sympathy. 

“Thor,” I patted his shoulder, signaling that I was pulling back (he was still shaking, it was hard to tell otherwise) and stared at his face. His eyes were glassy.

“Thor, it’s awful. You’ve been through pure _ hell_. And you don't deserve any of this. It's okay to be upset, you have every right,” I said. 

The cat found its way into Thor’s lap and rubbed up against his arms. The sky was still a dreary gray above us. 

I teetered on the narrow ledge as I sat criss-crossed on the chimney stump. I kept contact with his cerulean blue eyes, that stood out even more with the red puffiness that surrounded them. I grimaced as the ache in my chest from his expression, like something was strangling my heart and squeezing my organs. 

“You’ll get through this,” I told him. “you’re not alone.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool: Pink Panther and the Energizer Bunny of Doom bonding with man-tears? It doesn't get better than this, people. 
> 
> Author: WHO WANTS TINY AVENGERS???
> 
> Deadpool: GASP
> 
> Author: Who's ready for cuteness overload? c: we have some shrunken Avengers coming up in the next chapter! Yay!!
> 
> Sam Wilson: Where's my fly swatter?
> 
> Natasha Romanoff: Oh joy, we all get to see the world through Tony's eyes.
> 
> Tony Stark: ;-; keep your kicks above the waistline, please. 
> 
> Author: We will see these adorable tiny Avengers in the next chapter!! Stay tuned for some fun, Awesome Adventurers! Love, fortune and glory to you!!


	9. Love and Shrinky-Dink Suits

Everyone sat in silence, listening to the sounds of arguing. Without warning, Stephen burst through the door, yelling over his shoulder, “Leave me alone, Mrs. Hudson!” 

Everyone else stared as he slammed the door, heaving, before he collapsed into the nearest armchair. Tony sat across from him in the other recliner, judging him. “What's her superpower? Does she make brooms move by themselves?” 

Stephen scratched the back of his head. “Shut up, Stark.” 

Both men relaxed into the armchairs, and seemed to steeple their fingers in one matched motion. I sat at the table along the wall with Thor. I softly blew on a cup of tea Wanda had offered me. Wanda was seated on the couch with Clint and T’Challa. Scott was the only one standing, devouring his second blueberry muffin by the fireplace. 

“Have we discovered anything else about the Eternal Flame?” Stephen remarked. 

Scott and I exchanged a glance. I sat up a little straighter, “I saw another Asgardian at Stonehenge. His name is Skurge...he was carrying the Eternal Flame for Amora. Scott and I tried to take him down.” 

“Does ‘Skurge’ ring any bells?” Stephen’s eyes scrutinized Thor. 

I peeked over at him. Thor seemed to be doing better after our talk on the roof. More relaxed. 

“No,” Thor admitted, “are you sure he was Asgardian?”

“Positive.” 

A gentle knock rapped against the door. It must’ve been the housekeeper. “Stephen?”

The Master of the Mystic Arts sunk down in his chair. I sent an exasperated look his way and answered the door myself. 

“Oh! Hello there, dear,” A thin, elderly woman stood in the doorway. Her hair was brittle and the color of cinnamon. It must’ve been Mrs. Hudson.

She held out a green-colored envelope to me. “This just came in...oh my...are you and the Doctor _ diddling_?” 

_ Diddling? _My eyes widened. I heard Stephen groan from the other room, “Come on, Mrs. Hudson! Don't harass her! She’s a friend!” 

“Excuse me, dear—you don't have very many _ female _ friends, unless they’re staying the night.” Mrs. Hudson leaned around me to peer inside the room. 

“Well, she’s different.” 

“Apparently so, if she’s getting mail here,” Mrs. Hudson muttered. She started to waddle back down the stairs. I gently closed the door and examined the letter. 

“You two aren't…” Out of the corner of my eye, Wanda’s finger went back and forth between me and Stephen. 

I shook my head so quick my hair whipped around. He sighed. “_ No_. I'm allowed to be friends with the opposite sex, Ms. Maximoff.” 

“Sorry. You just don't seem like...that type of guy,” Wanda mumbled the last part. 

I parked myself next to Stephen’s chair without looking up from the green envelope. His head turned in my direction, “What’s it say?” 

“It has my name on it,” I said, dumbfounded as I stared at my name sprawled across the back in perfectly elegant scripture. Stephen held out a gloved hand, and I gave him the letter. 

I leaned on the top of his chair as he flipped it over. “It was magically transported, but I can't detect anything else dangerous.” 

He returned it to me. I raked my fingernail across the top, and unfolded the piece of paper inside. More flawless handwriting covered the page, 

_ Meet me at the address below. We have so much to talk about, I'm dying to see you. Alone. _

_ —A _

An address was given below. It said nothing else. 

“It's from Amora,” I informed them, glancing over at Thor. “She wants to meet with me somewhere, alone.”

Tony pulled out his phone, “What address?” 

I gave him the letter. T’Challa leaned on the arm of the sofa, “I think it unwise to go alone, Evie.”

Thor didn't seem very pleased when the idea was brought up. “I agree.” 

“We don't have much of a say,” Tony murmured and looked up from Google Maps on his phone. “It's a coffee shop down the street. Very public. We go there, we risk being seen and discovered by Ross.” 

I thought about facing Amora alone, over coffee. My mouth went dry as I thought of her beautiful face, her cunning eyes, and her perfectly manicured nails slicing my throat open. I shivered. It sounded like a living nightmare.

Scott held up his hand, and muffin crumbs escaped his mouth as he spoke, “Wait! I may have something for that!”

“You can't turn all of us tiny; you only have one shrinky-dink suit.” Clint observed. 

Scott nodded. The top half of his plain black shirt was decorated in crumbs from talking with his mouth full, “True, but I have those disks that I throw that can make things small.”

“I thought those were temporary,” Wanda said.

“It is—they are. But I’ve been working on them...now, if I use them on something, it can stay tiny for two, three hours.” Scott replied and looked over at me. “You could go, and we’d be with you the whole time.” 

Tony shrugged. “It's not a bad idea, Junior Mint.”

Scott pumped up his fist that was holding the muffin. “Tiny Avengers assemble!”

~*~

I never thought I could die from cuteness.

I constantly had to bite down on my lip at the display before me. The mini-Avengers were sprawled across the coffee table, and every single thing they did managed to be _ adorable_. 

Thankfully I chose a table in the corner, near the window, where no one could see me obsessing over two-inch high superheroes. The coffee shop was busy, but enough to where everyone was occupied and the volume tuned out everything like static. 

Clint was trying to climb up to my coffee cup, rattling the dainty object against the dish beneath it. “Come on! Must...have...caffeine!” 

My heart did wild, exuberant flips as I studied the poor tiny archer. I scooped up some of the hazel liquid with a spoon and offered it to him, “You want some?” 

Even in his new miniature form, I caught Clint’s eyes bulging out of their sockets. “Damn, that Christmas ornament has it made.” 

Tony flew over to us and balanced atop the stem of the spoon. I eyed the two, but it was hard to look convincing, “Be nice, guys. Please share,” 

T’Challa and Scott were making a fort out of sugar packets. It warmed my heart to see the Avengers finally getting along after Sokovia and the Accords. Who knew reenacting _ Honey, I Shrunk the Kids _ would patch up everything?

Wanda and Stephen buzzed around like a pair of fairies. I held out my other hand, and they landed in my palm. 

_ Oh, my God. This is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. I can die happy—I’ll probably die after this, life can't get any better. _

Wanda stretched out her arms, “I can hear you, Evie. It's like a whole other world down here...now I know what Tony sees all the time!”

Tony looked away from the coffee-filled spoon. “I heard that, Sabrina. You better have your broomstick ready,”

Wanda laughed as she jumped out of my palm and into the air, flying in circles with Tony. Biting my lip wasn't working anymore. My lips were curved up too high. 

I felt a small breeze pass over my face. I focused on the open space in front of me and gasped. 

“You’re all so cute,” I cooed at mini-Thor. His hammer blurred as he swung it—yes, the hammer was tiny, too. The cape, the hair, all of it was shrunk to a small, adorable size. 

Thor landed on my nose, and a giggle escaped my lips. 

“Hi,” I greeted him. My voice was unmistakably high and jubilant. 

“I did not think it possible for you to be any more gorgeous up close,” Thor replied. 

The blush on my face was clear for everyone to see. He jumped off my nose continuing to hover in the air before me. Thor’s smile was huge. 

“Evangeline Green?” 

I froze at the voice. So did Thor, forgetting to keep spinning his hammer. He shouted as he dropped from the air. I caught in the same hand that held Stephen, and turned to face the owner of the voice. 

“Jane...Foster?” I said. 

The astrophysicist was standing behind my chair, holding a to-go coffee in one hand and a crumpled receipt in the other. Her dark-haired intern, Darcy Lewis, was beside her, going to town on a cinnamon roll.

“Sup,” Darcy’s voice was muffled from the flaky, icing-covered pastry. 

“Hi,” I slipped off my stool, feeling another brush of air nearby. Thor and the others must’ve been on the move. 

The three of us stood there for a minute in awkward silence. I had met Jane a few times in the past. We talked a little, but we were never close.

“I'm surprised you remember me,” I admitted.

“Thor talked about you, a lot,” Darcy answered, still munching. “He said you were super smart, and funny, and nice, and overall just an amazing human being.” 

I heard Tony mumble somewhere near me, “I like to think of myself as a woman expert, and if I were you right now, Angie...I’d run for the nearest nuclear shelter.” 

My lungs dried up, and I had to force myself to inhale like a normal person and not gasp for breath. 

“Oh,” I finally said. “That's very...nice of him.” 

Jane pressed her lips together and nodded, “Yeah.” 

Darcy looked between us, “Well, this is super awkward.” 

Just when I thought I’d reached the height of embarrassment, shouts and short exclamations of surprise rippled through the shop.

“Oh, this is great,” Wanda’s voice was saturated with sarcasm. 

The Asgardian warrior, Sif, forced her way past the narrow tables. I’d never met her, but it struck me how she hadn't changed at all from photos kept of her years ago. Her face was exactly the same; she hadn't aged at all.

Sif’s gaze landed on Jane. Her eyes narrowed, “Jane.” 

“Hi, Sif.” 

Sif gestured towards me with her long, silver weapon. “Who is this?” 

“Evangeline Green. Thor knows her, they’re super close.” Darcy answered before I could. I started to feel my face getting hot.

Sif stared at my red face. “Mmm.”

I glanced around. The entire shop was staring at us now. I immediately thought of the press, and social media, and spies, and how all of those things could alert Ross of where I was. I resisted the urge to run out into the street and let a car take me out of my misery.

“What are you doing here?” Jane asked Sif. 

“Tracking me,” Amora’s beautiful trill answered. Our small party looked over at the impossibly stunning Asgardian, wearing flashy human clothes. She tossed a flirty wink, “I thought we could all get together and have some brunch.” 

I was wrong. This wasn't a living nightmare. This was the seventh circle of hell.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: Hi Awesome Adventurers! Hope all is well, what did we think of Tiny!Avengers? :3
> 
> Deadpool: MURDER
> 
> Evangeline Green: WADE IF YOU TRY TO MURDER ANY OF THE TINY AVENGERS I'LL KILL EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM AND THEN MYSELF
> 
> Deadpool: No! I'm not talking about that! Somebody stole my cure for blindness!!
> 
> Peter Parker: Isn't you cure for blindness a little...illegal?
> 
> Deadpool: Accusations! It's for medical purposes only. Life as a comic book character is hard on the head sometimes...I'M HIRING THE TWO SHERLOCKS TO WORK ON IT
> 
> Stephen Strange: Wrong universe, asshole. 
> 
> Deadpool: Stick a sock in it, Bunnywaffle Cucumber :/
> 
> Tony Stark: I have no interest in helping in this matter. 
> 
> Deadpool: Fine! Looks like Detective Deadpool will take this case...Watson! Bring the magnifying glass!
> 
> Peter Parker: I think "Watson" is me O.o
> 
> Author: Love, fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers!! Stay healthy!


	10. Love and Female Demons

“I booked a separate room for us,” Amora turned and started down a corridor, leading away from the full tables of witnesses. She wore a lively shade of bright green that broadcasted across her gypsy-styled clothing, topped with golden jewelry. Sif pursued her first. All of the little voices in my head whispered warnings as I followed—or it might’ve been the Avengers. 

I matched Sif’s long, impatient strides. I asked her in a low voice, “You’re tracking her?” 

Sif nodded to confirm it. Thor said he was friends with Sif for centuries, but one thing he mentioned besides her overwhelming sparring qualities was her loyalty; she betrayed Asgard for Thor twice. That made her an ally. 

“Skurge is working for her. Do you know him?” I barely mouthed the words. 

She nodded, matching my inaudible volume. “We fought on Vanaheim. What else?” 

“She stole the Eternal Flame—we need to return it to Alfheim before Asgard is invaded.” 

_ And Earth gets demolished, and I face a life belonging to Asta. _

Sif bowed her head as an open doorway loomed ahead. “My thanks. We cannot attack her yet; her shields are impenetrable.”

I didn't see any shields around Amora. It must’ve been a magical type of protection. Nevertheless, I felt a little less useless as we were walking. I had my adorable, unstoppable mini-Avengers and an Asgardian warrior standing right next to me. I would get through this. 

Amora danced to the side of the circular table and sat in a chair that was already pulled out. Everyone else copied her actions and settled into the black, metal chairs. I felt something moving in my hair as I sank down. I hoped it was one of the Avengers. I resisted the urge to touch the back of my neck and see. 

Amora leaned back in her chair, somehow comfortable in the icy-cold seats. With a flick of her fingers, a teapot at the center levitated and started to fill the cups lying around. 

_ Wanda, _ I thought of the mind-reader’s name in my head. _ Is there any chance you can look in her head and see what's going on? _

Wanda answered quickly. _ Wish I could. It's...patchy, like a radio station that's too faint. It might be part of the shields that Sif mentioned. Stephen and I are working on it. _

I clenched my hands together in my lap. Brunch with Satan had begun. 

“So, Evangeline,” Amora chose to pick on me first. She balanced her chin on her hands, “what brings _ you _ here?”

I knew better than to give the dummy answer and say because of her. I was beginning to be grateful that Pepper insisted I also pursue a degree in political science. “I oversee all political operations for the Avengers.” 

“And yet they bring you into warzones.” Her eyes narrowed. “And as far as I can tell, you really don't have any militant abilities. The Avengers don't seem to care what happens to their weakest link.” 

I heard a growl nearby. I wasn't sure where it came from—it was close. It wasn't me. It sounded infuriated. 

“Brag,” I heard Tony murmur in my ear. “lie if you have to.” 

“I can handle myself,” I said. “I've taken down chitauri before on my own.” 

Sif glanced over at me. “You’re serious?” 

I nodded, remembering the group I ran into on Alfheim. I at least took one down, I didn't make it easy for them. Asta saved me from the rest. Sometimes, I wished _ I _ could be the hero… 

Amora spared me one more look. “Hmm. It's still a shame, you tossed Barton’s kidney away. Such a waste…” 

It took every ounce of willpower not to recoil from the attack. Darcy’s mouth was gaping wide open from the comment. Jane’s face mirrored her friend’s. 

Clint was the donor of the first transplant, when I was seventeen. My body rejected it after three years. He sacrificed so much for me—he gave me a chance at life, and I’d failed him. The reminder wasn't pleasant.

My hands were held so tight in my lap, when I glanced down and unclenched, the tips of my fingers were slightly purple. 

Amora moved on quickly, not disturbing the flow of conversation with too-long pauses, “Sif, you look radiant.” 

Sif shot a malicious glare back. “What are you plotting to do with the Eternal Flame?” 

Amora laughed lightly. The sound rivaled musical church bells. “Remember when Loki and I brought it here, to Midgard? We saw you before we left, with the Warrior’s Three.” 

Sif nodded stiffly. “Aye, I do.” 

“Remember how Thor was, back then?” 

_ Thor? _I wondered why she tossed his name into the conversation. Sif’s face froze, and her eyes darted to the side briefly, “Aye.”

“What?” Amora’s forehead dented with perfectly simulated concern, like a current passing across a still, glassy river. “What's on your mind?” 

“It's...nothing.”

“No, it's not. Please,” Amora’s voice was so sincere, like Sif was confiding in a priest. I doubted there was anything holy about her. 

I set my hands on the table. I knew better than to drink or eat anything set out on the white tablecloth. I traced the rim of my full cup, trying to calm myself.

“He was...arrogant, then,” Sif admitted out loud.

“Still kind of is, but I’ve met worse,” Wanda replied.

“I wouldn't say ‘arrogant,’ I just know what I'm capable of,” Thor cleared his throat a little when he spoke. The comments from the mini-Avengers went overlooked by everyone else at the table.

“Then?” Jane judged her across the table. “He was so full of himself when I first met him—”

Amora cut her off before Jane could say more. “Yes, you are absolutely right, Jane—did I mention that you have the most perfectly structured cheekbones? The shape of your face is nearly symmetrical.” 

“Oh, um...thank you?” 

I wanted to say something, but I held my tongue. Yes, Thor had an ego, there was no denying that. But he still respected others, and was very friendly. He was so _ easy _ to be around. I liked that extroverted part of him. But I didn't dare open my mouth—the less I said, the better. No matter what I could come up with, I had no doubt that Amora could twist it and poison it into some vile, unspeakable thing. And I didn't want to fully humiliate myself in front of both Thor and the Avengers. 

My fingers that touched the cup were starting to tingle. My nerves must’ve been pushed past their limit. 

“Of course, it probably comes from bedding _ hundreds _ of women,” Amora carried on, her sharp, emerald gems for eyes piercing me like daggers. “How many lovers have you had, _ Evie_?”

My face burned like embers. I was sure that even my shoulders were red underneath my clothes. The mini-Avengers’ comments threw me off from giving a quick response.

“Okay, shields or not, I'm going over there and hanging her by her stupid headband!” Wanda howled. 

“I've never been so glad I'm not a woman until this moment.” Scott sounded like he was panting. “Why does everyone think men are the violent, bloodthirsty ones? Girls are _ mean_, they literally deal with blood on a monthly basis—OH GOD I HAVE TO RETURN TO THE STATES. I HAVE TO KEEP MY BABY GIRL FROM BECOMING A MONSTER.”

T’Challa was the only one who managed a calm tone of voice, but it was too calm, like the voice he used when he was dissing Sam, “In my country, when a woman is as vile and disgraceful as that female demon, we cast her out into fields roamed by wild tigers so Bast can extract justice, and no one else gets hurt.” 

“Is that really true?”

“...Yes. It is very true, Scott. And that is why you must never visit Wakanda.” 

In that single moment, I had never felt more humiliated and overwhelmed in my life. Everyone stared, including Amora, their gazes burning as I tried to come up with something. The mini-Avengers were screaming their heads off, scattering my thoughts. I suddenly wished I really had come alone, so they didn't have to witness this. Maybe that was her plot all along; lure me out, knowing the others were near, and rip me apart piece by piece in front of everyone. 

I mustered what little dignity I had left and straightened my shoulders. When I swallowed, my lungs felt dry and raw, like a blistering desert. 

“I haven’t really kept track—Darcy, you’ve been really quiet.” The words came out rushed, fearful that Amora would cut me off and tear up more of my insides. They didn't sound confident at all, and I nearly cringed after hearing them leave my lips. 

Darcy’s face paled. She sat right next to Amora, and had managed to stay silent and invisible the entire time. Darcy had a long, drawn out face that was partially covered by a small hat. She tugged at it, pulling it further down her face like a turtle retreating into its shell.

“I just, uh...I don't really talk. Just...bleh, it's not my thing.” Darcy glanced down at her lap. “Actually, I have a thing, in like, five minutes...that's really important...are we allowed to go, or…”

Sif tensed near me. Her fists disappeared beneath the table, probably clutching a weapon. 

Amora laughed, “Of course, I'm not keeping you captive here. It was lovely meeting you, Darcy.”

“Thanks,” The word sounded forced from Darcy’s mouth. “Meeting you too was...an experience.”

“The _ last _ experience!” Sif shouted as she sprung from her chair, and buried her spear into Amora’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: Hi Awesome Adventurers!! How we doin? 
> 
> Magneto: We're living during an apocalypse. 
> 
> Deadpool: Wow. That's IRONy at its finest.
> 
> Everyone: ...
> 
> Everyone: ...
> 
> Scott Lang: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOL!!!!!1!1!!1 ROFL!!!
> 
> Rocket Raccoon: So that's why Quill's the way he is, it's a humie thing.
> 
> Peter Quill: What does that mean, pusheen—?
> 
> Author: Anyways! Hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy! Love, fortune and glory to you!!


	11. Love and Walking Thermometers

My fingers clenched the iron bottom of my chair. The sound of metal tearing filled the small room. 

“Holy shitballs!” Darcy scrambled up from her chair. She took cover by one of the potted plants along the dark, circular walls. “Wait...what happened?” 

The spear was sticking out of Amora’s abdomen. Her form glitched suddenly. 

She held up her hand, wiggling her fingers as she waved, “I’ll call you…”

Amora’s form shimmered and disappeared. Just like one of Loki’s conjuring spells.

I glanced over at Jane. Her shoulders moved up and down from her quick breaths, and I saw her visibly swallow. Her hands shook. 

I still felt horrible from the bitter brunch. My insides were twisted and mangled, and I wondered if I would throw them up later. I yearned to run out of the room and just be _ alone_. But I wasn't shaking. I wasn't scared at all. 

Sif cursed. “An illusion. She was never here.” 

Sif yanked her spear out of the back of the chair, leaving a wide, gaping hole. She glanced at us, “I will pursue her.” 

She barreled out of the room without another word.

Jane swallowed again. “I transferred locations—I-I work here now. In London.”

She took a deep breath to steel herself. Her voice sounded breathy, “We have to return to the lab. Darcy?” 

“Coming,” Darcy took a selfie with the potted plant, then followed her out. The empty room haunted me. But I wasn't alone—and I really wished I was.

~P A R I S~

“Are you sure we had to drop Tony off at the Compound? I had so many Napoleon jokes to make,” Natasha teased nearby as we gathered in the lobby of a shabby hotel. 

We stopped by the Compound and switched groups. I was tempted to stay in the States, but it was my marriage life on the line. Besides, I doubted I would find solace or closure in the humiliation that had transpired at the Compound. It was better off to join the rest that hadn't witnessed my public smackdown—but thanks to Wanda and Scott, famous eavesdroppers and gossipers, everyone already knew. 

Steve sat on the musty-smelling couch next to me, dressed in his usual incognito attire: hoodie, fake glasses, and a baseball cap. Both Steve and Nat lingered around me like concerned moms. I wanted to push them away, but I wasn't feeling too well lately…

“Ironically, Mr. Stark—_Tony_, has many humorous conjectures about _ your _ upbringing, Natasha.” Vision replied. He sat up too straight in a light blue sweater. “Like your secret support of Communism through your red curls—”

“That's enough,” Steve snapped. I couldn't tell if he was trying to keep the peace, or just angry that Vis brought up Communism. That was one topic that really got him worked up. 

“After our last encounter with Amora—” Stephen glanced at me, and I hugged my knees tighter to my chest, cowering behind them at the reminder. “—I traced where her magic was coming from, and apparently it's somewhere in Paris.”

“In one of the most famous cities in the world known for love, hours away from Valentines Day,” Rhodey remarked and shook his head on the stained ottoman. 

I winced. Love was becoming a touchy subject. The very mention of it made my mouth taste like vomit—or I just really wasn't feeling well. 

“She always was overly dramatic,” Thor murmured. I avoided Thor’s gaze at all costs. I didn't want to imagine him, hundreds of years ago, with _ her_. But when I did manage to get her out of my head, Jane or Sif found their way into my mind—I knew it was stupid to think like this, but I was too exhausted to fend off the thoughts. 

“We’ll need to watch our backs—Ross can't know we’re here. I say we split up into smaller groups,” Natasha leaned forward on her knees and looked like a goddess carved from marble. 

“You sure that's a good idea, Nat?” Steve glanced up at Peter Parker and Shuri sharing a couch together. Shuri was sitting on top of Peter’s jacket, refusing to touch the furniture. Peter, a classic teenager from New York, leaned back and hugged one of the pillows to his chest. 

“Do not worry yourself, grandpa. We can take care of ourselves—_eek!_” Shuri squealed when Peter tapped her with the tainted hotel pillow. 

Steve sighed. 

“We’ll cover more ground—if this chick has powers like Loki, maybe we’re better off. We use the coms and report what we see. I get first pick,” Natasha said. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around me, “I pick Evie, Sam and Vision.” 

“If we’re playing dodgeball, I’m not the best choice, Nat,” I frowned at the sound of my own voice. It sounded broken, almost a croak. I didn't want to draw attention to myself. I kept my mouth shut after that. 

“You can be my human shield—you’ll be the Steve to my Bucky,” Natasha tossed a wink at me. 

Everyone else paired up into their groups, shrugged on their hoodies and baseball caps, and headed out. Natasha waited for everyone else to leave, inserting her com into her ear and checking her ammunition supply. Sam gave her a curious look as she seemed to fiddle too much with her gloves.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” She murmured to me. Vision joined us and stood awkwardly off to the side. 

I nodded, regretfully releasing my knees from captivity. My limbs were achy. I held onto the back of the couch when I stood. 

I expected Natasha to go through our route, but instead, she just stared at me quietly for a minute. So did Sam and Vision. They offered no explanation for the pause; they simply stared. I felt uncomfortable from their attentiveness.

Then it hit me. “Uh oh.” 

It was a wave of nausea unlike anything I had ever experienced. I clutched my stomach, the back of my throat already starting to burn. I couldn't breathe. 

Sam sprinted across the room. He returned with a knee-high trash can. 

Natasha held my hair back when I threw up. Vision took the basket from me when I was done and set it off to the side. 

“That's European food for you,” Sam replied as he gently rubbed my back. I owed the Avengers for putting up with my weak immune system.

“You look like hell,” Nat said.

Vision stepped up and pressed his crimson hand against my forehead. His electronic blue eyes widened, “You currently have a fever of one-hundred and three point six degrees fahrenheit, Evangeline. I think it best if you sit down.”

I wobbled as I lowered myself back to the couch, grimacing at the awful taste in my mouth. All three hovered over me.

“You’re like a walking thermometer, man. Don't let Scott know you can do that, next thing you know he’ll ask you how hot his coffee is every morning.” Sam uttered.

“Duly noted.” 

I felt a smidge of relief that my poor health brought the three together. It was nice not to hear bickering for a change, especially right now. Natasha leaned over me and tucked my bangs away, “I think the wicked witch of the west poisoned you—”

She glanced back at Vision. “Not Wanda,”

He shrugged. “The title varies.” 

“That's a mighty claim to make the day before Valentine’s Day, Carrot-Man.” 

“The best love is honest love,” Vision insisted. His words stuck with me for some reason. 

Natasha looked back at me and sighed. “I’m sorry, but I’m cutting the cord on this—”

I managed to grab her arm. “Please don't send me back to the Compound.”

I shuddered at the thought of dragging Stephen back here to make a portal, and to have him worry over my health in the meantime. Then I would have to return to the others, who witnessed my embarrassing encounter first hand. 

“No, of course not, we don't have the time. We’ll get you settled in here. Can you carry her?” Natasha took over as team leader as Sam hoisted me up. Vertigo gripped me, and I settled into a gray haze as the world swirled around me. I had completely forgotten what room Natasha had chosen, or if she even paid for the room at all. Before I knew it, Sam was setting me down on something soft. 

“Mr. Kitty will be bunking with you,” Natasha carried Thor’s black cat in her arms (Thor named him “Lucky” ironically). The cat jumped down and made itself at home, lounging on one of the armchairs like it was a throne. 

“You’re not staying?” I croaked. 

Natasha went in full-out mom mode and started tucking me in beneath the covers. “Don't worry, I’ll still drug you.”

“Don't tell Stephen, but you’re my favorite doctor, Nat.”

“And don't tell everyone else, but I’ve been hiding vitamins in their food for years,” Natasha grinned. Her teeth were a shining porcelain just like her skin. Her alabaster sheen started to hurt my eyes, but I didn't look away. 

“You’ve been sticking _ what _ in my food?” Sam’s eyes widened.

“Shh. No one has to know.” 

Nat walked around the incredibly small hotel room, creating a cozy atmosphere with dimmed lights and drawn curtains. Vision still stood awkwardly nearby. 

“I'm sorry,” I told him. My throat was starting to feel clogged—apparently whatever I had wasn't just a stomach bug. It had evolved into a plague. 

I was starting to feel infuriated by this entire thing. My health had always been a touchy subject, and it had intervened at the worst possible time. I couldn't recall any stories where someone had to fight bad guys while they were sick—I’m sure it would’ve been comedy gold, but it was a crappy experience to live through. 

He shook his head, and to my surprise, knelt by the bed. His neutral-toned british accent went with his robotic look, “Never apologize for being human, Evangeline. You all may think that I find it tiring, but I disagree,”

Vision inhaled sharply. “I admire life. Even with all of it's faults, empathy is one of the most beautiful things I have come across.”

I didn't really understand what he was talking about, my ears were starting to clog up. Vision seemed satisfied; he nodded to himself and stood. Sam muttered something about Vision being a philosopher. 

“We’ll keep you in the loop—we’ll send someone over to keep you company. Feel better, and don't you _ dare _ beat yourself up over this,” Natasha’s last words sounded deadly, yet she smiled sweetly when she said them. 

I nodded, and pulled the covers up to my chin for emphasis. All three waved with phony smiles and slowly shut the door. 

I felt some relief at a moment alone. The silence was calming to my ears. I began to feel more at ease.

I went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. I rinsed out my mouth, too. Every time I managed a glance at the mirror, a sick-looking girl with glassy eyes and messy brown hair gave me a terrified look.

“The gods hate me,” I muttered when I finally walked out of the bathroom and threw myself onto the mattress. The springs bounced back against my stomach.

“Well, we’re not exactly fond of you.” 

My head snapped up. An immortal dressed in green stood over me.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: This section is dedicated to everyone else fighting off the plague right now, and I hope everyone is hanging in there right now. Also, how come we don't have more stories about the heroes getting sick at the worst possible times? How come none of the Mission Impossible films included Tom Cruise fighting off Mono? Or Angelina Jolie dealing with cramps? 
> 
> Deadpool: Because actors aren't human, sweetie. 
> 
> Author: Valid point, Wade. 
> 
> Tony Stark: I remember this one time on a mission Clint had this killer cold, literally killer: he sneezed in a Hydra agent's face and the agent fell off a building. I have a recording of it right here—
> 
> Clint Barton: We've all had those days—except for Natasha. She's never been sick. Not once. Never. Pretty sure she's immune to every disease on earth. 
> 
> Natasha Romanoff: Sickness trembles before me. I'll protect these Awesome Adventurers from the virus ;) love, fortune and glory to you!!


	12. Love and Blue Lips

“Loki?” I stammered out his name. It felt weird to say his name and actually address him; I was more used to the Loki who lived inside the Avengers’ jokes.

The god of Mischief’s emerald eyes glimmered. He took an emphasized step away from me. “Ugh—I would suggest making use of a breath mint, or _ incense._”

I frowned, and forced myself to sit up on the center of the bed. I should've been alarmed, but I was too tired for that kind of effort. I looked around. The black cat was gone. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked. 

“Keeping my brother away from Loki Land—_A-Asgard_, I mean Asgard,” Loki corrected himself in a very diplomatic manner. “I heard of what transpired on Alfheim. I can't let Asgard be invaded during its new golden era, we’re prospering! I’m still writing _ The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard_—”

“Wait a minute,” Something clicked in my clouded mind. I really had to focus to catch it in time. “You’re the one responsible for Heimdall? What are you doing to Asgard—? _ Mmph!” _

Loki clamped a hand against my mouth, which was ice cold. He jerked it away afterwards. He held his tainted hand away from his body, “I must wash my hands. Please excuse me for a moment,” 

I let myself fall back onto the bed and listened to the curious sounds of Loki washing his hands one room over. He still talked to me, expecting me to listen over the roar of the faucet, “I’ve seen the way my brother looks at you. I cannot let you marry Asta; you are the only thing that will keep him away from Asgard. Also...I believe that you’re a healthy choice for him. He's chosen some dreadful ones in the past, Amora included. You’re a nice change...you’re good for him.” 

I stared at Loki upside down when he came out. He was gently massaging his hands with a towel, then held up the beige piece of fabric in disgust and flung it back into the other room. 

“Aww, you really do care about him—why is it so hot in here?” I complained and stripped off my socks.

“That’s the fever. Mortals are such fragile beings—here,” Loki sat down beside me and took my hands in his. He softly blew cold air on my skin. I could see the frosty mist with my own eyes, similar to the fog from the other night. The room seemed to grow colder. I felt a chilling layer of frost on my knuckles. 

“Is that a frost giant thing?” I asked out loud. A cough erupted from my chest at the end, along with an instinct that told me my question wasn't something to ask outright.

Loki nodded slowly and solemnly. He snatched a tissue box from the nightstand and offered it to me politely. He waited until my coughing fit had died down to continue, “Yes...at least Thor finally scored one with a head on their shoulders. Alright, Amora’s clever, but I'm the only one allowed to wear green, here. That woman oversteps her bounds.”

“Yeah. She takes up your spotlight quite a bit.”

Loki scowled at me. He threw a quick glance at the door. “We have company. You cannot let Amora take the Eternal Flame, which would be a very good symbol for Asgard’s golden era. I might steal it from Gerd afterwards—”

I heard footsteps outside. Loki spoke more quickly now. I could barely keep up, “—damn, the oaf is here. You have to seduce him somehow, and keep him far, far away from Asgard. I have no idea what he finds attractive here,” he gestured at all of me, “but when he walks through that door, you better make yourself an _ offering _ to the gods—chop chop, go be a human sacrifice.”

“Ew. Please stop trying to be my matchmaker.” 

Loki didn't reply. He shrunk down in a cloud of green mist. The black cat from earlier took his place, staring at me with a look that clearly stated, ‘you will not mess this up, human.’

I looked up as the door creaked open. Even in my dull, sickened state, my heart fluttered when Thor popped his head in. “Hi.”

I tried to avoid staring directly into his eyes. The embarrassment of everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours seemed to amplify when he was in the room. 

“Hey,” I cleared my throat, “be careful, I have the plague.” 

Thor ignored my warning, creeping further into the doorway. He held up a paper bag, “I brought soup, and some oddly-shaped pastries.”

The cat shot me a look, as if that proved his point about something. I didn't really care. Soup sounded nice. I managed to pull myself back into a sitting position. I was going to be an adult about this. “Thank you, Thor. That's very sweet of you.” 

Thor finally entered the room and closed the door softly behind him. As he walked in, he paused. “It's cold in here.”

I spared another glance at the cat/god of mischief/my new matchmaker. He tried to appear innocent. “Yeah. I think the heater’s broken.” 

Should I have said something about Lokitty? I was too sick to comprehend the answer. I didn't want to deal with it right now. 

Thor handed me the bag and scratched Lokitty underneath the chin. “Looks like you have good company.”

“_Mrow_.” 

Thor grinned when the cat answered. I just shot it a foul look, “It’s okay. I’m more of a dog person.”

Lokitty’s ears flattened. 

I removed the soup from the paper bag. When I glanced in, I identified the weirdly-shaped pastries as croissants. I settled back against the headboard of the bed.

“Here, let me,” 

“Oh, um, thanks.” Thor situated the pillows behind me as I eased back. My breath caught in my throat when he leaned in close.

“Your lips are blue.”

“What?”

“Your lips are blue, it’s too cold in here,” Thor glanced around. “I don't see any more blankets. Would you like me to lie with you?” 

I choked on my first try of the soup, which was actually an herbal delight. I was too busy trying to process what I had just heard. “You want to...lie with me?” 

_ Why would he lie? That’s more Loki’s thing. Something seems amiss here… _

Then it finally hit me. “Oh! Sure, if you want—wait, I don't want you to get sick.”

“I'm a god, Evie. Sickness trembles before me,” Thor slipped in next to me and pulled the covers over us. Already he was trapping the heat inside. Between the soup and his closeness, being sick wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.

It was impossible to be uncomfortable in Thor’s presence. I’d forgotten all formalities and professionalism as I snuggled into his side. Thor’s hoodie was much more comfortable against my skin than his armor. He wrapped an arm around me and found a remote on the dresser, “Would you like to watch something?” 

“Okay.”

Most of the channels were in french, but it didn't matter. Thor settled on a french soap opera (I think), although the television felt more like background noise.

I was halfway through the soup by now. “This is really good, thank you for bringing this.” 

“Of course.” His arm tightened around me. “Evie, I'm sorry about earlier. About Amora.” 

I froze. My hunger melted away. I shook my head as I packaged the soup back up and put it away. “Don't. It's not your fault.”

“It _ is_. She hurt you, and I will not allow that to stand.” Thor insisted.

“Don't worry about it, please, I just want to forget the whole thing. I don't even know what I did to piss her off,” I pleaded and looked up at him.

“I don't think that's part of it.” Thor said. “She hurt you because...she knows I like you.”

I blinked a few times. Was I becoming delusional? “You do?” 

“Yes, I do.” His whispered confirmation sent a shiver through me. It shouldn't have shocked me so much to hear it out loud. I wasn't expecting the reveal during my plague outbreak, either. 

“Even with the puke and snot balls? Seriously?” 

“The cute little red nose, too,” Thor added with a smile. 

_ Blue lips, red nose. Am I a poem or a cautionary tale? _

I smiled back, “I really like—” I was interrupted by a fit of coughing. My face burned from ruining the moment. “I'm sorry, that wasn't very smooth.”

I took a deep breath and tried again. “I really like you, too.” 

Thor’s lips split into the hugest smile I had seen yet. “Even with the arrogance and ex-lovers?” 

“The cute little red cape, too,” I insisted.

Thor’s hand caressed my cheek as he leaned down. Our lips met.

It was gentle, which surprised me. Even with the scratch of Thor’s beard, his lips seemed to softly caress mine with kisses. I felt a wave of intimacy—that sounded stupid, since it was kissing, but I felt something deep about it. Something just..._right_. 

My arms were locked around Thor’s neck and I still managed to run my fingers against his scalp. His breath came out harder, almost a hiss. The warmth made my mouth tingle.

Thor parted from me suddenly, grimacing. “Ah...you are definitely sick.” 

My eyes widened and I instinctively covered my mouth. I started to wiggle out of his grasp when he pulled me back in, close. 

“I don't care,” He murmured, and his lips crashed back onto mine. 

  
  
  
  


“I'm really loving this, but I might need a break to breathe, you know, because I'm sick.”

“—Right, yes, of course. And, Evie?”

“Yeah?” 

He grinned. “Happy Valentine's Day.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Loki the Cat sighs at the edge of the bed, flipping through french soap operas with the remote*
> 
> Scott Lang: Aww, that's so sweet c: that is so true love!!!
> 
> Tony Stark: Eww, that's so disgusting. That is so unhygienic!!!
> 
> Wanda Maximoff: I love them, but I wanna spray them with a Lysol can so bad. 
> 
> Vision: This scene is a true testimony to love. It isn't all of the romantic moments under perfect circumstances. It is loving one another despite imperfections, and it is beautiful.
> 
> Shuri: ...But it's still disgusting. 
> 
> Author: Hia Awesome Adventurers!! Hope you enjoyed the blossoming of our new little romance c: more fun scenes to come! Love, fortune and glory to you!!


	13. Love and Alex Russo's Bitchy Pills

Thor was right on one thing: sickness did tremble before him. After hours of naps and cuddling (and the discovery that it was impossible to gross out Thor) I could actually breathe again through my nose. The plague was just a twenty-four hour thing, but I couldn't say the same for the cramps.

The Avengers returned later, and judging by the glum looks, we hadn't made any progress. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but, I think I prefer fighting Loki instead,” Steve muttered and walked up to us. Thor’s arm was wrapped around my waist while I held Lokitty. I still had to explain that, somehow. 

Steve scratched underneath Lokitty’s chin. I couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed like Loki had an amused expression. 

“There’s too many people here from the holidays,” Rhodey remarked, easing onto one of the armchairs. A sheen of sweat glittered across his forehead. 

Natasha’s eyes narrowed at Thor’s arm around my waist. She made a soft “hmm” sound and looked away. She was smirking. 

“Why are you smiling?” Sam asked her. 

“ ‘Cause Clint and Tony owe me money.” 

I decided not to comment, although I was sure that my new relationship with Thor had been gambled on. Steve and Rhodey exchanged a few bucks. 

Stephen approached us next. His gaze drifted to me first, “How do you feel?”

“Better, thanks.” I had endless apologies lined up on my tongue, for my sucky immune system and stealing Thor from everyone. But I didn't want to linger on it. “Where to next?” 

“The trail went east,” Stephen explained. “The sooner we get out of this city, the better.”

~G R E E C E~

“I think I should stay with Evangeline. Amora picked her out before, I think the Strongest Avenger should be by her side,” Thor said, practically bursting with confidence. His voice boomed slightly against the gleaming white walls of the alleyway. 

Stephen looked between the two of us. “The only reason I'm allowing this is because it could work to our advantage. It might draw out Amora.”

Scott was back and part of the new group. He was off to the side, nodding along with Natasha. “I ship them so hard. What should be their ship name? Evor? Thoreline—? The last one kinda sounds like a hair product, that could work.”

“We can hear you, Scott.” 

“Sorry, Gelo—oh! Gelo! Sounds like jello.” 

“We’ll set up a perimeter,” Sam said, thrusting up his hood as he went into incognito mode. “I miss my wings.” 

The Avengers started to empty the alleyway one by one. Stephen came up to me, “Could I speak with you alone for a minute, please?” 

I felt Thor’s grip slightly tighten on my waist. I glanced up at him. He was wearing that full-lipped, too-placid smile. 

“Can I catch up with you after?” I said.

“Of course,” Thor’s fake smile seemed to grow wider. He leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek. He stared down at me for a second too long.

Thor’s arm dropped from my waist. I listened to his loud, thunderous steps as he left. Lokitty wiggled out of my grasp and followed him, casting a warning glare back at me. 

We were alone in the alleyway. A cool dampness pressed against me in the absence of Thor’s warmth. Most buildings in the city were a gleaming white, like they were made of pearl. The alleyway was much more dank and grimy. 

“Never thought you would fall for a guy so grandstanding,” Stephen remarked.

“I put up with you,” I pointed out. 

Stephen’s face broke into a smile. “Fair enough. I have something for you. A little Valentine’s Day gift,”

He held out an unwrapped box. I flipped it over. I smirked at the cover.

“Claritin,” I read out loud, laughing as I did so. “Thank you. That's very thoughtful. I'm sorry, Stephen, but I didn't get you anything.” 

He dismissed it. “It doesn't matter. But I had to do something, because you are the most important woman in my life.” 

My gaze snapped back to him. “That's very...sweet.” 

“Not in _ that _ way,” He explained as he read my facial expression. “You are the one woman in my life that I will never sleep with, and that’s a good thing—and that came out wrong, dammit.” 

“Stephen, I don't understand. And it's not because I haven't taken one of these yet,” I lightly shook the box of Claritin.

He sighed. “Look, let me start from the beginning. I have _ no _ romantic feelings for you. At all. Whatsoever. You are the one woman I’ve seen in a while as a _ friend_, and that friendship keeps me sane.” 

I studied Stephen very carefully. We spent a lot of time together, but I never saw it as anything more than that. We were close; that was all. 

He continued, “I'm happy for you and him. I really am, I just...I’m not ready to lose you yet.” 

My face scrunched up at his words. “What do you mean? Lose me?”

“Angie, Thor’s not from Earth. Who knows how long he's sticking around, and you’ll probably go with him, and—” He paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re the one person who gets...all of this. You get the weirdness. And you’re the only person I can talk to without sounding like I'm addicted to LSD. You’re the only part left of my life that’s human.” 

There were too many details to take in. I focused on the one that scared me the most. “Thor's leaving?”

Stephen huffed, and paced the small alleyway. “He has to. He's the prince of an entire race, Angie—did you really think he would stay?” 

The realization stung. I bit my lip. I whispered, “I didn't think that far ahead.” 

Suddenly I was thinking of Jane. Thor had left her for two years. He came back, but only to hunt down Loki’s scepter and to fight Ultron. Thor was back in space, until I dragged him back to Earth with my cosmic engagement scandal. How long would he stay? 

I could go with him. I could leave Earth. And in the process, I would abandon my broken Avengers, and my poor aunt. My cupcake business, all of my contacts...my future. It would be left behind. 

“I don't think I’ll leave with him,” I croaked. I would endure the pain. I was an independent person, anyway. I had my own life. I wasn't living for someone else—but the new anticipation for Thor’s absence was excruciating. 

Stephen stopped pacing. I knew he was relieved, but he wasn't smiling. Stephen spoke in a gentle tone, that was otherworldly to his usual formal, croaky voice, “It's probably for the best. It’s safer. It would be easier to end it now, in the beginning—”

“_End _ it?” I hissed. _ End it...end the kisses that tickled from Thor’s stubble. End the near-constant handholds and the huge smiles. End the reign of the sun, right when dawn just broke across the horizon. _

Stephen nodded hesitantly. “It's not a healthy relationship, Evie. Thor lives a dangerous life—”

“Oh, come on!” I threw up my hands. I didn't care if my voice was bouncing off the grimy stone walls, “That's the best you got? Are the Avengers too dangerous now? Are _ you _ too dangerous?” 

“At least I stick to one planet,” Stephen remarked. 

“Yeah, overlooking the other dimensions you flit to day by day!”

“That seems as ordinary as an office job, compared to you choosing to live your life with someone who _ will _ leave you, who won't age a _ day _ in a hundred years,” Stephen’s words were extra raspy as they flew out, without restriction. “the sex would probably kill you.” 

He stopped abruptly. Either he realized the error of what he said, or it was because my hand whipped across his face.

I was starting to feel sick, but not in the way I had the last twenty-four hours. My insides were gnarled and twisted, like a garden infested with weeds. 

My hand lowered to my side, and I curled it back into a fist. Stephen’s face was still slightly turned to the side from my slap. His gaze eventually lifted to mine. 

“It's my life. It's none of your business.” I said in a stern, venomous tone. 

“I'm sorry. I was out of line.” Stephen’s voice sounded strangled and wounded. 

“Out of line—? Should’ve given me aspirin instead!” I remarked, holding up the claritin. 

“...Actually, I could prescribe something.”

“I would say to stick _ you _ on something, but I don't know what would make this better!” I gestured at all of him. 

I stomped off, and yelled without looking back at him, “Let me know when you stop taking Alex Russo’s bitchy pills!”

“They’re strawberry flavored.”

“Oh, shut up!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark: Stephen, I like to think of myself as a woman expert, and after provoking a woman during the wrong time of the month, you should leave the country.
> 
> Stephen Strange: Should I really be taking advice from someone who just got dumped on their ass?
> 
> Scott Lang: Pepper left him :( Poor guy, he's spending Valentine's Day all alone...good thing we're here!!
> 
> Tony Stark: Yes. Terrific. 
> 
> Peter Quill: Okay dudes, but we all know who the TRUE woman expert is here. 
> 
> Thor: You are right, Quill.
> 
> Peter Quill: That's a first. Thanks, man—
> 
> Thor: It's me :D 
> 
> Wanda Maximoff: Did it ever occur to you morons that a woman expert is a woman?
> 
> Shuri: Americans. Aliens. They are all the same. Literally, I cannot tell them apart. Love, fortune and glory to you, Awesome Adventurers!!


	14. Message

Readers,

I think I am going to stop publishing this series. When I started writing this, I was so excited to explore these characters and outlandish scenarios with you, but I feel as if no one is interested. I’ve barely heard from any of you, and I’m disappointed that no one has shown any engagement to the story. 

I understand that not every reader is inclined to be vocal, and it’s not a requirement. But the reason why writers share their stories on this wonderful site is to share their intricate masterpieces with others. I am going to continue to write this series, because writing is my passion and it gives me joy. But no one else seems to share this opinion about  _ The Collector’s Cosmic Romance Saga _ , so I will no longer be publishing it publically. I’ve even tried to make changes as to how the series is set up to make it more inviting, but I didn't hear from anyone. This story has become my number one writing project, and I am so obsessed and entranced with it and these amazing characters. I am just jumping out of my seat to write a romance with Thor, let alone a love triangle with Star-Lord. But it is depressing that no one has shown any appreciation to something that I really love. 

I am deeply disappointed. I have a lot of fun things planned, but no one seems interested. 

  
  



End file.
